Shattered

Chapter Six

As I walked down the wooden stairs to the sidewalk and up another set of wooden stairs to the boardwalk, my steps quickened as my anger rose. I had never been approached with such disrespect, not even in New York. Who the hell is she to accuse me of coming here solely to sabotage their wedding? I didn't want to come in the first place. My name being called in the distance pulled me out of my angry rant. I turned to see Rhett rushing towards me.

"Cassia, wait, please." He called out.

I stood with my arms crossed not even trying to hide the anger on my face as he approached me.

"Cassie, I am so sorry. She's never attacked anyone like that before." He said out of breath.

"Did ya think to run it by her before taking your ex-girlfriend to lunch?" I rounded him, now clenching my fists at my sides. He rounded me as he backed up into the wooden railing and watched with wide eyes as I came unraveled. "Did you even think what it would do to her if she didn't know? You told me you could go catch up with an old friend. You told me it'd be ok. You never told me there could be a chance she wouldn't be ok with it! How would you feel if you had walked into a diner and found her sitting with an ex? Huh, Rhett? Answer me!"

I had never spoke to him in such a tone, not even when we were splitting up. His eyes were wide with shock and... pain?

"I've never had to before. I have lunch with friends all the time." He stepped closer to me, I took a step back making sure to keep distance between us. "I miss you, Cassia." His voice was broken from the pain he had held in for four years. "I just wanted to see if we could become friends."

"That's just now how things work in life. You can't walk out of my life like it was nothing and then waltz back into my life like it's all going to be alright four years later. Let's not forget the fact that you're getting married!" I wasn't screaming but I wasn't just talking and the tears I was fighting back were now falling.

His eyes bore into mine with such sorrow and regret. "I know... I know. You don't owe me a damn thing. You could turn around right now, walk away and I couldn't be upset. I don't have the right to be after what I did."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't do just that? As if getting married isn't enough."

"Cassie," He stepped forward, reaching out towards me.

Stepping out of reach, I held my hands up and shook my head.

He stared at me in shock or disbelief, whether or not he understood what he did was wrong or not, he was finding out by both women very quickly that it was.

"I'm not implying you would ever do anything wrong, Rhett, but does she know that? She's obviously not as secure in your relationship trust-wise as you are." He glanced over my shoulder, looking at the people who stopped to catch a glimpse of the crazy woman screaming at him. "Listen, I never wanted to run into you. I think it's just best that we leave things where they were. I'm happy that you found happiness, Rhett. I truly am." I forced back the lump rising in my throat. "Go find your fiancé and make her believe that I did not come here for that. I never wanted you to know I was even in town." With those last words I turned and raced back towards my sister's coffee shop as the tears welled up, flooding my eyes.

When the bells rang indicating someone entering the shoppe, Jess came to the front counter. As soon as she seen the condition I was in, she rushed over.

"What happened? I thought it was just lunch, what the hell happened?" She asked as she took me in her arms, cradling my head against her shoulder.

We eventually made our way to the back where we sat in her office and I explained everything to her. She listened and allowed me to cry and vent without interrupting me. Only when I seemed to finally calm myself down did she speak.

"I don't think his intentions were to upset either of you. I know he was only wanting to catch up with you and with the excitement of seeing you, it probably didn't occur to him to call Beth."

"That doesn't make it any better, Jess. I asked if it'd be ok and he said yes. The point is, that woman thinks I am here to purposely sabotage her wedding and I didn't even know about it until right before I boarded the plane. I tried to get out of coming, even after I knew about the wedding!"

"I'll talk to Beth. She's pretty reasonable. She's always known about you, Cas. You can't blame her for having any amount of jealousy towards you."

Knowing she was right; I rolled my eyes and sighed. The bell rang at the door and Jess walked to the front to greet the customer. Hearing her talk happily and the cappuccino machine wind up, I knew she'd be a minute so I stepped out back to call Ruby.

"Hey. How are things down there? I got a call from two excited girls earlier."

"I told you I didn't want to come down here." I spoke softly into the phone.

"Cassie? I can barely hear you, are you ok?" Concern filled Ruby's voice.

The tears began to fall again. "I told you I didn't want to come, Ruby. You refused to listen." I said in-between cries.

"Cassie, honey, what's wrong?"

"Did you know he was getting married? Is that why you sent me down here?"

No response.

Knowing Ruby as well as I do, I knew that no response meant yes.

"How could you, Ruby?" I cried into the phone. "How could you do something like that to me? Do know what I just went through? His fiancé thinks I'm here to ruin her wedding!"

"Cassie, I'm sorry." Ruby apologized quietly; her voice filled with regret. "I thought with seeing you he'd remember what he walked away from. I thought maybe it would make the two of you remember what you guys had. I thought..."

"You thought wrong." I said through gritted teeth and ended the call.

Every ounce of pain I had pushed down and locked away surfaced. I felt it all over again. Every break in my heart, the world crumbling around me, the air pushed from my lungs, my heart shattering into pieces. I felt it all. I felt the anxiety set in, the panic of not just the memories but of her thinking I could truly ruin a wedding like that. I suddenly couldn't breathe, I gasped for air between cries. I found myself on the ground leaned against the building with my knees pulled to my chest hyperventilating. No matter how many deep breaths I took, the panicking just worsened, causing the pain to intensify.

The realization hit me...He's marrying someone else. Oh God, he's getting married. That's supposed to be me, him and I. It's supposed to be us getting married. Didn't he know that he was my world? Didn't he know how much I loved him? How much I still love him? There's never been anyone else after him, I couldn't even accept anyone else's phone number without breaking down. There was never anyone but him. There would never be anyone but Rhett and now he's gone for good.

I couldn't tell you how long I sat against the building with my knees to my chest. I couldn't tell you how long I cried or how many tears fell. What I could tell you was, the pain I felt at this very moment was worse than the pain of him walking away from us. This pain was something I never wanted to feel again and I didn't know if I'd make it through. This pain was so much worse because it meant that it was definite. Him getting married meant that we truly would never love one another ever again. Well, he'd never love me again because I never stopped loving him. Not even for a day.

The back door opened and Jess poked her head out to find me against the wall. She rushed back inside and within a few minutes she was back outside locking to door behind her. She pulled me to my feet and turned me towards her car.

"What are you doing? You've got the dinner rush coming." I fought against her hold on me.

"They can go somewhere else for their evening pick me up. You and I are going home, opening a bottle of wine, and drinking our sorrows into the night."