Crazy Over Lisa

Broken

Jisoo

Can you believe it? Lisa and I have been together for more than two years now. I honestly am surprised, only because I didn't know how it would affect our dynamic. I thought we'd be terrible at being girlfriends, but there's always something that pulls us back around to understanding the big picture.

When she came out, I didn't know what it would look like for Blackpink, let alone her and I. I really expected the worse to come, but it hasn't been all that bad. The girls took it as best as they could. Sometimes, I wish we had more time together as a group.

Honestly, I think that's why Lisa's depressed.

This month hasn't been the best for us and our money. We're not getting kicked out onto the streets or anything like that, but let's just say Lisa can't do her usual shopping like she used to.

We can't even go out that much anymore. We have to pay for our own bodyguards and that can get expensive. So many people hound her and I if we go out now. Flashing cameras, people recording us on their phones—it invades our privacy. Most of them are so disrespectful that it ruins the night out for us, sometimes.

We've resorted to staying in our apartment as much as we can.

I stare at Lisa's sleeping body and can't help but melt. I could never stay mad at her for too long, especially since I understand her too well.

I take a seat at the edge of the bed next to her hip. She mumbles some more before I see her eyes open.

"It's time to wake up, sleeping beauty," my hand reaches into her shirt and I start rubbing her back up and down. Her skin is really warm.

"I had another bad dream," her voice sounds so small, like the baby she is, "You left me for someone else and acted like you didn't even know me."

"All of your nightmares include something about me breaking up with you or leaving you behind. Why is that?"

Her head turns my way, "Because that's my biggest fear..."

Wah, my heart!!

"You know I would never do that," I stand up and grab her hand, "C'mon, sit up for me."

Lisa turns her body and slowly sits up. Her hair is a mess! She grew it out since then, but kept it black. She said she's been wanting to have long hair again, only because she knew I loved it. This girl is something else.

"I'm going to need you to stop having those kinds of dreams, okay?" I tilt her chin up with my hand.

"Okay, baby," Her pout kills me every time!

I close the space between us for the first time today. Her lips feel dry, but always so soft.

I'm not sure how I'm going to break this news to her. I don't think we've ever had the idea of moving to the US come across us before, so this feels like it's happening fast. Knowing how far we'll be from all of our family friends could break her heart.

But this decision is the only one that makes sense. Both of us are exhausted from having to hide from the whole country of Korea. It feels like a lot of people have turned against us here.

We part ways and I spot a small smirk on her lips. But her eyes look so sad, almost empty. I've never seen Lisa this depressed.

I don't think today would be a good day to tell her.

"Babe, did you have anything that you wanted to do today?" I ask.

Her stare is so far ahead and across the room, "I don't know...I don't know what I need."