Never Enough

Numb

        The cold dirt underneath my toes feels heavenly. The fog twists around my ankles with my every step. The sun shines through crevices among the trees. Making the early morning surroundings greener than usual. It's my favorite part, coming into the woods so early.        

 It's so beautiful, it takes my breath away. every. single. time. Walking the path doesn't take long, and soon enough I'm there. The pond is still and the water clear. Rocks lay at the bottom covering it full. As the pond got deeper the water got darker.

Everything about the pond and nature surrounding it looked as if it had painted in a picture. A perfect picture. Bigger rocks surround the pond and smaller on the ground leading to it. I walk over to one and lift myself on to it. The rock is cool to the touch.

The shorts and short sleeve shirt I'm wearing here provide no real coverage from it.  My legs hang off the side of the rock, my toes dangle right above the water. I stretch my legs dipping my toes in swirling them around. The ripples move further and further until the reached the other side. Looking down at the water I see my reflection. My blonde hair hangs carelessly around my face.        

My bluish green eyes roam my face. I stare into the reflection of my eyes. I kick the water and my face becomes disoriented in the waters reflection. Looking up I stare at out into the woods searching. For what I don't know exactly.

Leaning back on the rock I close my eyes. Letting the peace and purity of this moment sink in. I want to remember what this feels like. Because all too soon, I will have to leave.

Opening my eyes, I get up off the rock and walk to the edge of the woods. Looking back one last time before heading back the way I came.

********************

Opening the house door, I sneak back upstairs to my bedroom. I glance at the clock 7:09.  21 minutes until my ride gets here. I pull off my dirty PJ's and put on a dark pair of tight fitting jeans and a loose, flowy black shirt. Leaving my hair down, in loose billowy curls from the previous night.

I added a bit of makeup and kick on my black flats. Packing my bag for school, I make sure my new book is packaged safely between my science binder and math textbook. All the sudden a huge honk went off.

Must be Jake. Flying down the stairs I open the door and swing it shut after me. Jayce rolled down the passenger window and yelled,

"Hey, grumpy face whats up with you on this lovely morning?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I reply. Opening and shutting the passenger door.

"I would. I asked, didn't I?"

"Smart ass."  

Smiling his signature cocky smile, he pulled out of my driveway and turned on the radio. It only takes about 10 minutes to get to the hell hole they call a school. Most day's we talk, but nothing more than an average conversation. Today is a quite day. The trees zoom by as I stare out the window. As soon as we are parked I hop out and make my way through the parking lot at my fastest powerwalk. Jake calls out after me,

"HEY, WAIT!"

Just ignore him, and you can lose him in the hallway.

"CHO, HANG ON A SEC."

It was useless, Jake was not the type to drop it and leave it. Stopping abruptly in the middle of the crowd of students trying to squeeze into the double doors to the high school. Turning around I spot Jake stuck behind some slow pokes, waving his arms around and yelling my name like a mad man. This huge smile plastered to his face. people begin to stare at us. I can't help but roll my eyes this is ridiculous. I just wanted to get inside and get to my first period art class.

"CHLOE, CHO. OVER HERE. MEEE!"

Jake is screaming at the top of his lungs. He finally makes his way to me and grabbed my upper arm lightly. Guiding me to the doors he leans lower and whispers,

"Walk with me."

By the time we are in the school and walking down the hallway he released my arm.

"Jake what do you want. I'm really not in the mood today."

Jake, who looked stunned puts his hand over his chest and gasps.

"No shit, Chloe." he says in all seriousness, "I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You haven't really seemed like yourself lately. I'm just worried about you Chloe."

I don't even know why I'm friends with Jake Stone, who, remind you, is the most popular guy in school. I don't even know how we became friends. One morning he just showed up at my house, insisting he give me a ride to school, instead of riding the bus. I was reluctant to say yes. That bus really was horrible. And I don't have the money to afford a car.

So every day since, Jake has picked me up and dropped me off. Every day this year. And last year.  He even sits with me at lunch sometimes. He has invited me to every party he has ever gone to. Not like I would go, but the thought was nice. It's not like jake and I have a tight relationship, but we are friends. Even if I have no clue why.

"I'm fine Jay. Thing's have just been stressful lately. School and everything. Honestly. Jake, Im fine. Stop looking at me like that." I pause and look at him, "Come on stop. I'm fine. See? I'm smiling and everything."

Stopping at my locker he casually leans against the one beside mine and continues to stare at me while I grab binders and stuff them into my old black backpack. Without a glance in his direction I slam my locker shut and start to walk off past him. His footsteps are evident and follow me all the way to my art class. Before I enter the classroom I turn and look at him.

"Don't you have to walk me to my classes. Don't you have your own to get to?"

"I do, but you're more interesting. have fun. See you later cho."

And then he was off, striding down the hallway like he owned it. Smiling I walk into my favorite class. Art. And I begin to lose myself as my pencil meets the pad.