Before He Say Goodbye

SS1: Do Not Fall Asleep

Hanging by the ceiling was a very bright chandelier that gives shine all through out of her room. She can even hear Aling Marites singing Chandelier by Sia because of how jealous of her with her money and her beautiful house;  to even add she is not really a deep sleeper, in fact she cannot even feel her body every morning, it seems like she is always experiencing an out-of-the body experience.

Reminiscing that experience, she opens her eyes and see that her unfinished coffee on her side table that has full of ants in it.

"Gosh! Ants again, they never really stops until they get all of the sugar here in this house!"  She said and out of anger, she suddenly whips her hand on the cup spilling everything that is inside it. 

"Ugh! Not again, I am such a clumsy." She added and is pissed off of how clumsy she was. She cannot barely remember how many times she spills coffee off her table but she do know that it is a lot. She eventually cleans it off and head inside her shower to take a bath and refresh for a bit. "Seems like everything is like yesterday."  She thinks while the water is slowly dripping down her body. Especially to this pandemic that has been going on, everything does indeed is repeating. Through her waking up every morning to the loud noises of Aling Marites and her eventually realizing that she did not fully finished her last night's coffee, all are just the same as for her situations. She does not even know how other people live out their lives since this pandemic starts a year ago, all she can do now is actually help other people who is in need because she in fact a doctor. She is quite lucky that she lives alone in her house and not living with other people that can contact the virus but although sometimes she always has a bad thought that she wanted Aling Marites to catch the virus to make her stop singing and ruining her day but it was all a thought for her; she basically wanted to create her own fantasy.

As soon as she finished to take a bath, she runs through her closet and immediately change to her white coat over her formal wear. And as she almost forgot, she also grabs a new face shield and face mask and head outside to drive to the hospital she owns. But before she grabs her key to her car she saw Aling Marites on her backyard singing as her radio plays a song that she does not recognized, they looked eye on eye together and Aling Marites rolled her eyes to her. "Such a big b." She thought. But of course if she is being honest to herself, she cannot imagine how life would be like without her nosy neighbor, seems like everything will not go as it normally would. 

As she arrives to the hospital, the number of cases that is positive to the virus is going up rapidly as her assistant nurse have told her. She is thinking  of ways to remind those people that has been going to her hospital to calm down and help is on their way even if there was not any help that will be coming soon. But then, she thinks of her virtue as a Doctor; care and trust. Her mother who was a Nurse would not be happy if she do not tell the truth to her patients even if it would ruined them and their opportunity to be saved. Hence, she took the guts to tell them that help is not really on their way as of this moment and the reason for that matter is that the hospital is already full and cannot really accept more patients, and as a result of that confrontation, the people are mad; which is a thing that is common in both reality and even on her thoughts, she cursed out anger because of the attitude that they that she cannot really spill in her reality.

As the night arise, and the day had come to fall asleep, her busyness grew wider and wider, she even experienced a death of a patient that she actually has a good connection with. She was definitely is affected of the lost because she considered him as a family and as a brother. She just thought to herself that no matter what live gives her, she will not be tempted to be attached to it; whether it is a person or a feelings. As she goes back to her house,she is reminiscing the first time that she feels to be in love. It was a four year relationship that eventually ends up into trash because of the boundaries that has been killing the relationship. When the moment that the pandemic arise through their area, their relationship becomes cold and she did not even know how to segregate the real feelings and the sympathy that her ex is portraying. But, she moves on with that relationship, she thought that she deserves better not to a person that will give up in a simple boundary that the love gave them.  She is a strong woman but a strong woman like her does not have a strong heart in her; she often forgot what can be that reality and what cannot be one. She has a good heart and she deserves a better person that will treat her as one too.

She never tries dating again after that and she cannot even imagine to be in one because of how busy her schedule was and as the night goes and the moon provides the light, she suddenly realize that she is again in her bed; about to sleep and take a rest. She told to herself that her thoughts was right, this is the reality that she is living in, where in all of the things are repeated and all of the things are interconnected, even for a simple details that has been presented. She sip on her coffee and puts it in the table, she told to herself that she would never forget to put it on the sink. She cannot really imagine all the possibilities that may become impossible, that what if just what if this was all a...  She cannot finish the thought at all as if someone is putting her into deep sleep,and she then follows, she slowly drops on her pillow and fall asleep, a deep one indeed.