Before He Say Goodbye

SS3: A Tragic Form

"Snap!" A sound of a camera flashes through her eyes and the sound of the click of the shutter lingers in her ears for a moment. She cannot believe that this guy has been talking to her for one month, they are good friends but she cannot deny to herself that she is indeed attracted to him in a sexual concept however the care, trust and hope for each other still is the powerful source of their connection rather than these sort of "acts of love" that they wanted to give from each other. She just always believes that love can be so mysterious that it can shape shift into something even if into something that you can expect and sometimes, even want.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't like taking pictures!" She said with her annoyed voice. For the last one month of them knowing each other, the man that she is talking to will constantly take a picture of her unsuspectingly, it seems like he is a stalker or something. But, she does not really mind it because she knows that she can trust him; however sometimes it is a bit getting annoying.

"Hey! In the midst of this pandemic, this is the only time I could see such beautiful masterpiece as you, I just appreciate you and that is it, I love your company and especially, I like you— as you being you."  He said with sincerity marks on her face. She drinks her coffee on that is in her hands the whole time that they are talking; she could not believe how sweet he can get as in this point of their relationship as friends. She could never imagine how this person change her lifestyle; she always has a smile marks on her face when she is about to go on her hospital, she is never been this too inspired to fight for other people's life just to make this guy proud while saying, "I saved another life again." It is just too perfect, far too perfect from the reality that she is used to, the sad and melancholic vibe reality before she meets the person that she does even know until now could change her lifestyle.

"Alright! You are such a bolero, but you got me there. I appreciate that though, thank you." She said while sincerity feels her heart. 

"No, Thank you for providing time to talk to me, I know that we are both busy at saving lives and providing hope for other people but in a sense, you also provide hope for me." His tone got serious. "Looking back, I tried on saving lives of other people, it is my passion and my virtue as a doctor to save them. It is my form of love with them. But in reality, I forgot who truly is in need of me, and it is my family. I lost my parents because of this virus, I never got to meet them because I am the cause of them having the virus I was so sure that I have not gotten the virus because there was no visible symptoms as of that moment and the moment I went home and stay there just for two days, because I badly wanted to see my family, they got infected and the worst case scenario happen— death. I still got the virus as of today and the symptoms are getting worse, but I do not know if I can still manage, that is the reason why I cannot go to my work, it is because I am isolated, I have done everything that I could to fight this virus, I already drink plenty of water enough to even let myself drown in it, I already rest and isolated myself from other people which causes a lot of things to me psychologically and the reason why we met on Omegle, and please do not be mad at me that I did not tell you as soon as I can because I do not want you to worry. I tried my best not to cough or even show signs to you because I know that you are a smart person and you will be figure that I catch the virus. But at a very long run, I gotta seek help, that is why I do not want to miss this opportunity even if it is for the final time. I wanted to go there to seek help from you; before it is to late and I wanted to see my hope even if it is for the very last time." He paused for a moment, she hold herself to cry out loud because of the truth that he reveals. "Now, can I come to you, my hope?" 

She does not know what to say, tell or even response to him. She is so speechless that all she can do is to cry because the same situation happen to her. Her mom got the virus because she worked on a different hospital on a different town. She tried to warned her to not go there because it is far away from their home and it is a long drive. But her mom wanted to save lives even more; she knows that her daughter will save everyone in their hometown and she trust her that she will save everyone and will not filter them base on their social status or connection. But that trust leaves them unspoken when she got a news from her mother that she needs to be isolated, because she gotten the virus and a week later that announcement, her mother had passed, not in her arms but to the room where she has been kept isolated. Her heart was devastated by then, she blames everyone and most especially herself because she does not take responsibility for her mother. She blames her mother trust with her because this will never happen if she does not trust her capabilities; all are not well after that. All comes downfall after that incident, her performance at her hospital got worst and her focus was all gone. She is not stable in the same manner as she is before. She thinks of a better way to end the suffering and it is death.She tries to hang herself but could not do it because of the force that is stopping her, she tries to slit her neck but it does not work because she always got to rushed in on the hospital, and lastly, she blames everyone who has gotten the virus in the first place because without them and her mother's compassion of them, she would still be here by her side. The reality of death and the confusion that resulted her to blame everyone becomes mixed up and she lives by it even though others may hurt.