Heart-shaped Box

fire on fire

"Wake up with a knot in my chest
Tried everything just to get out of bed
It ain't workin', it ain't workin'
Sometimes I can get like this
Cover it up with a smile on my face
But I'm hurtin', I'm still hurtin'

There are days when the world gets heavy
Sleepless nights, I've had way too many
When it's late and no one's around, around
Alone in my room and the tears start pouring
Wishin' the nights were still the mornin'
But tonight I'ma let them fall down, fall down

'Cause it's OK not to be OK
It's OK if you feel the pain
Don't gotta wipe your tears away
Tomorrow's another day
It's OK not to be OK
It's fine, you're allowed to break
As long as you know, as long as you know
Everything's gonna be OK, OK, OK
As long as you know, as long as you know
Everything's gonna be OK, OK"
OK – Mabel (Anxiety Anthem)
Everyone gathers in the Great Hall, curious talks of who will be chosen filling up the room. Everyone from Durmstrang had put their name in the goblet, as did all the students from Beauxbatons. It made sense, since they came here especially for the Tournament. From our school, there had been Angelina Johnson from Gryffindor, Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff and Cassius Warrington from Slytherin. I was curious to find out who would be competing, especially since I knew Vik put his name in the goblet as well.
"Sit down, please." Dumbledore speaks up loudly.
Once everyone sits down, Dumbledore walks over to the middle of the room, everyone turning silent at it. Instead of our usual set up with the four tables, there's benches against the walls. I'm sitting behind Harry and Ron, next to Hermione.
"Now the moment you've all been waiting for: the champions' selection!" Excitement and tension hang heavily in the air after his words. Dumbledore starts moving his hand, and I can feel his magic go through the room, my own growing on edge by it. He finally points his arm towards the Goblet of Fire, it's blue flame bright as he begins to walk around it. Just like that, the flame turns red, and spits out a burnt piece of paper. I watch curiously as he grabs the piece and reads it.
"The Durmstrang champion is... Viktor Krum!"
Cheers sound, and I find myself clapping along with a big grin. Vik seems very happy, shaking his friends' hands before standing up and making his way over to Dumbledore, who shakes his hand and then sends him off to somewhere else. Silence returns to the room. The goblet spits out a second piece of paper.
"The champion of Beauxbatons... Fleur Delacour!" I clap at that too, although it's probably less enthusiastic than for Viktor. Fleur is a very pretty girl, and she smiles confidently as she walks over to Dumbledore. Ron stares at her so badly that I smack him around the head.
The third piece of paper is revealed, and everyone from Hogwarts holds their breath.
"The Hogwarts champion... Cedric Diggory!" We all cheer at that, including me. Cedric's a good kid, and I like the fact that a Hufflepuff is our champion. He's smiling very widely as he makes his way over to Dumbledore. The cheers remain until after he's left the room.
"Excellent! We now have our three champions! But at the end, only one will go down in history. Only one will hoist this chalice of champions, this vessel of victory, the Triwizard Cup!" Everyone cheers and claps as the magical Cup is revealed, but I stop quickly when I see Snape step towards Dumbledore. There's a worried look on his face that I haven't ever seen before, his eyes focused on the Goblet of Fire. I turn my head to look at it, an unsettling feeling appearing in my stomach when another paper bursts from it. Dumbledore grabs it, and the shock that's visible in his body language and later his voice makes me freeze up.
"Harry Potter?" He asks softly.
"Harry Potter?!" He repeats, louder this time. Harry, who'd stood up automatically, sits back down quickly, panic filling his eyes. I grab his shoulder, squeezing it in hopes to comfort him. He doesn't respond, frozen underneath my touch.
"No, no." Hagrid mutters.
"HARRY POTTER?" Dumbledore repeats, sounding angry this time.
"Harry, go." I whisper, Hermione and I pushing him up. He seems shocked, too shocked for this to have been this intention, as he walks over to Dumbledore. He hands him over the paper.

"He's a cheat!"
"We know he isn't seventeen yet!"
Some people yell, and others begin to whisper. My heart fills with worry for Harry, my stomach turning. Snape gives Harry a strange look, and then he's out the door. McGonagall is the only one who does something, giving him an emphatic squeeze on the shoulder. The door closes, and chaos erupts.
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"Harry?" I speak up as I enter the Astronomy Tower, finding him sitting there. I'd searched the Owlery first, and Hedwig had flown over here, which gave me the feeling she was trying to tell me he was here. Seems like she was right.
"Why are you here?" He mutters defeatedly.
"Why wouldn't I be? We're friends." I answer, walking over to him.
"Ron's supposed to be my friend too, and he claims I did this myself. He hates me." Harry argues, looking up at me with sad green eyes.
"Ron's an idiot." I state, moving to sit down beside him.
"You believe me?" He asks, sounding surprised.
"Harry, I know you. You would never do something stupid like that to put your own life at risk. Besides, you can't fake that shock. I believe you."
He relaxes visibly at that, shoulders sagging as a long held breath escapes his lips.
"Poor thing. Luck really isn't on your side, huh?" I mutter, wrapping an arm around him when I see tears rolling down his face. He lays his head on my shoulder, and we remain like that for a long time, just me and him, the stars shining down upon us.
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The following month passes in a blur. I spend a lot of my time with Harry, who seems absolutely devastated about the betrayal of his friend, even though he tries to appreciate my attempts to cheer him up as best as he can. When Ron tries to come at me for it, pulling the 'Harry-put-his-name-in-himself-for-the-fame'-shit, I end up yelling at him for how stupid he is, resulting in the twins having to drag me away. So right now, Ron's pissed at me too, but I couldn't care less. I believe Harry. I sit next to him in most classes, and try my best to hang out with him after that. Hermione spends a lot of time at the library to avoid the two, and so does Vik. When I ask him about it, he admits that he has a terrible crush on her, and that she helps him with homework. It was difficult for him to combine school with his top position as Seeker in the national team. Secretly, I totally shipped them, often subtly taking either of them to the library when I knew the other was there, then leaving the two of them alone to talk. By doing this, I grow a lot closer to Hermione too, talking to her often late at night in the dorm we share with Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil and Fay Dunbar.
My other free time is used making tons of homework and my extra lessons with Snape. I'm growing slightly more comfortable around him during these lessons, for he's way more patient and understanding than normally in his classes. I'm not really a person who likes pressure, so I appreciate that. Eventually, we also end up discussing Harry's participation.
"You're hanging around the Potter boy a lot lately." He notes after I made a comment about how Harry told me to cut a certain plant the way I just did, him correcting me by saying it was awfully wrong to do it like that.
"He's lonely. He didn't ask for all of this to happen to him." I answer, keeping my focus on the potion.
"Is that what you think?" He asks, not assuming anything, just asking. That's what I liked about him. He didn't ask me much, but if he did, it really was just a question, nothing more, nothing less.
"I do. I know him, he's had enough of all the attention already. Besides, you saw the surprise on his face too. He can't fake that." I state, glancing over to Snape for a moment.
"I believe the boy." He states dryly, making me hum.
Due to me hanging out with Harry a lot, I get to meet Cedric Diggory. First, he asks me to speak with Harry in private, the two of us having been walking the hallways. I agree, walking off to a place a bit further away from them, and watch them talk. After that, they walk over to me, and Cedric extends his hand towards me with a smile.
"I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Cedric." He says politely, making me shake his hand.
"No problem, Cedric. I already knew your name. I'm Ali."
After that, we speak each other again on a few occasions. I find out that he's excellent at Charms and Transfiguration, and I even end up asking for his help on a certain Transfiguration essay, which he's more than happy to help me with. He's not too loud, only speaking when needed, but one on one he's kind, smart and funny. I think he's a great guy, and he's madly in love with Cho Chang. I've seen Harry look at her a lot lately too, though, so that was bound to become difficult real soon.
Something that I've also noticed, is that Niklaus is a lot more often around me lately. He bumps into me in the hallways gently, a joke referring to how we met, and most of the time then asks to have dinner together. Most of the time, it ends up with the two of us pressed in between more guys from Durmstrang, which he doesn't really like, but I don't mind. He tells me about how he paints in his free time, that he's secretly a fan of 80's music, and that he enjoys pranking the butlers at the castle where he lives. His parents are strict, but love him very dearly, since he's their only son.
Soon enough, it's time for the first task. No one has a clue what it's going to be, not even Harry and Cedric, so excitement hangs in the air. I'm more concerned about my friends than anything else, since not only Harry, but Vik and even Cedric were people I knew. I hadn't seen Fleur a lot, but I had a hunch that I'd get to know her soon too. I just hoped everything would go well.