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When I saw her after so long time something sparked inside me some would say what kind of a man I am, my wife died ten months ago and here I am thinking about some other woman, but then Ayat is not just some other ordinary woman she is the keeper of my heart she has been for a very long time when I left six years back it wasn't entirely my choice my Abbu wasn't ready for me to be here and marry her because she was so young and he didn't want me to destroy her life with my reckless lifestyle he said.

I and Ayat were inseparable from each other, she used to share everything with me every thought of her, every dream she had, and everything she wanted to do, Ayat is my Phupo's daughter who is a single mother which never stopped her from asking what was rightfully her when Ayat's Abbu died his family threw them out blaming Phupo being responsible for his death but we all knew it was himself who dived into the madness of alcohol one should know it's a sin but that never stopped him. When Ayat moved in I was the happiest in the whole family, after all, my best friend was going to live with me.

When we were kids I didn't know what love is, or how it feels but as we grew up that feeling got stronger which I use to feel when she was around me, and I knew Ayat felt the same but as I was reaching the age responsibilities were increasing Abbu started looking up to me for handling matters of his business, and when I finished my studies he wanted me to work side by side with him, but my dreams were different I wanted to explore the world but not alone with Ayat so I told Ammi and Abbu to which they said it's not possible.

I was naive and told them fine then I'll go on my own, the day I told her she cried and cried wanting to stop me but I didn't listen to her and left anyway, I enjoyed my life so much living abroad soon after I moved to London with Ammi and Abbu when I heard Ayat is getting married to Hamza I got angry, jealous blamed her for leaving me alone but deep down I knew it was my fault.

When I met Kubra I was just fooling around, but later Ammi and Abbu started pressurizing me so I got married to Kubra, in all these years I never even bothered to contact Ayat later I realized what a stupid and idiot a person I was, I should've contacted her tell her to wait for me instead I did nikah with Kubra it was because of the pressure and to show Ayat I have moved on.

Coming back to Islamabad sure brings so many memories all good ones there was not even a single moment where I felt suffocated or as if I don't want to be here, because of Ayat and of course my parents but mostly Ayat. She is someone who can bring a smile to anyone's face but I believe she has changed a lot in these past six years. When she said how we both have changed and how our lives have changed it made me realize she is not that same Ayat maybe society and time have changed her, about which she was always afraid.

I never thought out of all people Ayat will be changed in such a way, I couldn't even bring myself to call her and ask when I heard about Hamza's demise, Ammi told me Ayat was also in the car in the passenger seat when it happened the kind of a person she is I think she must have been blaming herself for all this that's why when Sara told me she keeps herself locked up usually in the room for the past year, I wasn't surprised.

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