The Ones Who Failed Us

Chapter 33

The doctor had been talking to my family and Lucas for some time about treatment options, but I had spaced out only a minute after she had started. All I heard was that it was treatable if caught early enough, if treatment was started before the symptoms progressed.

Mom's death was preventable, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I knew that something was wrong when she had been puking for hours, but Sir had said she would be okay. I was so fucking naïve to believe that she would be alright, to trust Sir as much as I had when he married Mom. It was all my fault. If only I had fought him to take Mom to the hospital, then she would still be here with me. We could have been a proper family. I wouldn't be traumatized, Teddy wouldn't be traumatized. I would still be that carefree child I once was four years ago.

And then there my brothers, my poor brothers who had been caught in the crossfire. If I had just listened to Demetri after finding Sir's body, then none of this would have happened. I would still have been that angry and scared girl I was three months ago, but at least my brothers would be safe. They were too good to deserve any of this, even if they were the head of the Italian Mafia.

"Ava?" Emilio shook my shoulders, bringing my attention to him. "The doctor said we can see Sandro, Lijah, and Leo. Come on."

Matteo, Teddy, and Lucas were looking at me, waiting to see our brothers, but I shook my head. "You guys can go ahead. I just want to be alone for a few minutes."

Emilio and Matteo tilted their heads, their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Matteo turned to Lucas and said, "Can you take Teddy to our brothers' hospital room?"

When Lucas left with Teddy following the doctor, the twins took a seat next to me. "Why don't you want to see them?" Matteo asked.

I looked down at my hands, fiddling with my fingers. "Don't you guys hate me?"

Emilio pried my hands apart and lifted my chin towards him. "And why would we hate you?"

"I- I could've saved Mom. If I had just tried harder to get her to the hospital, she would still be alive. If I had-"

Emilio covered my mouth, stopping me mid-sentence. "You're going to drive yourself crazy thinking of all the what-ifs. Ava, you need to understand this. Demetri wanted her dead, and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Even if you did manage to get her to the hospital earlier and she didn't die from ricin poisoning, she would have died some other day, maybe in even more pain."

"He's right, Aves," Matteo said. Squeezing my hand, he pulled me in for a side hug. "If anything, you should blame us. We never came back for you. We weren't able to protect you, Mom, or Teddy."

I let my brothers comfort me as they tried to convince me to see our older brothers, but I couldn't. Even if there was nothing I could have done to save Mom, my presence was putting my brothers in danger, and the guilt was making me sick to my stomach. I couldn't lose my brothers, not when I finally felt at home with them.

A knock on the door caused our heads to turn in that directions where we saw Peyton standing there, looking exhausted. "Hey, Aves. Teddy said I would fine you here," she said walking towards us. "Boys, can I have a moment alone with her?"

"Sure. Maybe you'll have better luck with her than us," Emilio said.

Matteo nodded his head in agreement. "We'll have a few guards wait outside for you. Lucas thinks the Russians might try something with our brothers in the hospital."

Emilio and Matteo left to see our brothers while I stayed back with Peyton. "So you know about the whole Mafia thing?" I asked.

"Yeah, your brother told me after a year of us dating when we got serious," she chuckled. Sitting next to me, Peyton put her hand on my knee as a comforting gesture. "But enough about me. What's going on? You can tell me, honey. I promise I won't judge you at all. Trust me."