The Darkness Beyond the Stars

Chapter Twenty: Raon wishes he'd punches Asal again

For a long time, the only noise was the sound of two horses breathing heavily, their hooves clopping against the dirt floor.

"How could you stand being in Cilliria?" I finally burst out.

"What?"

"My father had your brother killed! How could you stand even being in the same city as him?"

His arm loosened, and for some reason, I wished it hadn't.

"I had to stand it."

"You agreed to marry me! His daughter!"

"To keep our countries from another war. A war like the last one, and the one before, and the one before that." His voice dropped lower as he went on. "So I did what I had to. Why did you accept?"

I froze. "Because..." Should I tell him? I coughed. "Um. Now I think of it, it's silly. Do you really want to know?"

I wished I could see his face, but I didn't dare turn around.

"Yes." He said quietly.

"Well..." I shifted uncomfortably. "You remember that palace guard? The one that you, um, hit?"

His arm tightened. "Yes."

I tried to hurry through it. "Well, we grew up together, and were friends, and I... Well, I thought he liked me in a different way and um... He left on a mission after my sister got married, and by then I was sure he loved me. So I wrote him letters. But he didn't write back at all. Until I got a letter the day father told me about the treaty, and he told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't love me, and he never had. And I think I overreacted. I ran to father and told him I would accept the treaty." I cringed.

Raon was silent for a moment. Then, "Why were you sure he loved you?"

My breath caught in my throat. "Um. He, well, sort of... kissed me." I held my breath.

He was silent for a long time. I shifted in the saddle again, keeping myself from looking back at him.

"I'm glad I hit him." His voice held something I hadn't heard before. I wasn't sure what it was, but it made me shudder.

I tried to fill the silence. "A... and I also got a letter that said the guard had been missing and presumed dead, so I...thought he was gone for good. That's why I was so surprised when he returned the day you got there."

I felt him take a deep breath.

"Did you regret your choice, when he returned?"

"What? No! I was finally able to see that he was awful. And a coward." I scowled.

I felt him relax.

"So that day in the forest..."

"I actually hit him before you got there."

Raon laughed suddenly. "Must've been hard."

I cringed. "That was when I finally saw how much of a coward he was."

"When he told you he had loved you?"

Now I did turn around. His eyes were serious, for once. "You weren't there."

One side of his mouth twitched up, as if he wanted to smile. "Morok heard it all."

"Then yes. I think I hated Asal right then." I turned forward again and desperately tried to think of a way to change the conversation. "But I've wanted to know, what did you tell him after you threw him back on his horse?"