𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚍

anger is a secondary emotion

"Tatia! Don't do this!" I said my arms bound on a stone bolder, I hissed as I felt the heat of the flames that stood a foot's distance away from me. I saw her. She looked just like Elana, but she was smiling. Tears formed in my eyes. "I hope you find comfort in your next life Nia." and just like that, a sharp blade was dug into my chest. I gasped for air but all I felt was pain. It hurt to breathe. "No!" I saw a man being held back his blue eyes filled with tears. "Niklaus!"

"Ouch..." I grumbled as I felt my face hit the floor I flopped over on my back, just staring at my ceiling. I wasnt ready for today. I wasnt ready to face Elana, I couldn't keep lying like this. It had been two days since I discovered the supernatural and in that time I've read Elana's journals, she, Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie, and Alaric all had been lying to my face. They've put themselves and the people around them in danger. Jenna and I are just sitting here in blissful ignorance like ducks, waiting to be plucked off. I've also noticed strange things happening around me. Whenever I go outside it feels like the grass reaches taller to my feet, the wind picks up leaves that swirl nowhere else but my feet, the way the trees sway... it all feels like they're trying to talk to me, to touch me... I shook my head. 'It's probably just your imagination vee.' i told myself.

I needed answers. But no one could provide... I stood, collecting an outfit for today and heading to the bathroom. I opened the door to see my sister Elana spitting out her toothpaste, her outfit fresh and warm, hair straightened, make-up perfect. She already looked perfect and it was 9 in the morning on a weekend.

"Hey" she smiled at me, it was full of concern, I felt my eyes already set in motion to roll. I didn't want to hear it. She didn't get that option anymore, she didn't get to act like everything was okay when it clearly wasn't. I started up the shower, ignoring her.

"Can you get out I have to shower," I stated bluntly. Elana took a deep intake of air, giving me another smile before nodding.

"Sure Evie. Let me just put my stuff away" Elana said, putting her deodorant, make-up, creams, and face washes all neatly in the cabinets. Once she was finished she walked out. I glared at the door, feeling rage burning in my stomach.

"Bang" without warning it slammed. I stood in disbelief. 'I- I didn't even touch it...' feeling goosebumps crawl up my skin I opened the door again, moving it a couple of times, nothing seemed wrong with its hinges? I took a deep breath, calming myself. 'maybe it was just a draft.' i shrugged, closing it.

Stepping out of my clothes and into the hot steaming water, its heat giving my muscles and joints pleasant relief. I lifted my arms, feeling its sting underneath the water. I traced my scares and newly added scabs. I had been cutting more than usual which was concerning, especially with Stefan and Damon around. I felt dread bubble up in my stomach. Stefan and Damon both had been invited in, meaning my sanctuary and safety were breached.

I stood there for a while... Feeling my body shiver and shake, even under the extreme heat of the shower rain. My chest felt tight, I had a million different thoughts running through my mind. 'What if they found out I couldn't be compelled? What if I died in the crossfire? What if I was tortured and killed like Mason. Oh god, mason! Poor Tyler... could Tyler be compelled? Why was I different? What was I?' i took a deep breath. Focusing on the water surrounding me, the sound of it flowing out of the showerhead, collecting in streams down my body, swirling down the drain, the steam that collected off into the air, the droplets massaging my shoulders and spine. As my eyes were closed I saw nothing. Just darkness, but in that darkness was a collection of lights. Deep muted navy and cyan blues flowed down my body. Emerald greens connected through the walls. White mist flowed all around the room. Ruby reds fixated from in the pipes. I could see all those colors outlining different objects in the room or were completely made up of those objects. As my eyes were closed I looked down at my hands. a mysterious fuchsia sunk deep into my skin, making up what looked to be my flesh, a deep eggplant purple made up my veins, lastly a deep violet surrounded my body, almost like it was me. I focused on all these particles, taking deep inhales, I imagined these colors seeping into my skin, my lungs. Like they were becoming part of me.