sempiternal (billie eilish)

toxic

There's no escape, I can't wait, I need a hit, baby give me it...

Billie's POV:

I place the chains around my neck, four of them, one with spikes, others hang low. I put the last two in the loops on the waistband of my skirt uniform, all silver. I slip all ten rings on my finger. It would be complete if only I had black platform boots, instead I wear black sneakers. Today, I don't put makeup over my eye; I want them to see what they did to me. I want questions raised.

"You look good," Juliet voices from her side of the room.

"Are you gonna spend the day with me or your mean girls squad? It's Wednesday, aren't you supposed to be wearing pink or some shit?" I ignore her compliments, still not forgiving her yet. I'll forgive her if she changes. I would never say it out loud, but I want her to myself, not with those other girls, not talking to any guys. I know it's just day 3, but I fantasize about breaking out of this place, running faster than I've ever before, with no reason to look back. But those fantasies fall short, because where would we go? What would we do? Fantasies only exist to make the real world feel better, they never actually happen, and if they do, it's never what you hoped it would be.

I turn to Juliet and scoff as she puts on a light pink cardigan and switches out her usual shoes for pink high heels.

"Keeping my enemies close, Billie," she says it like it's obvious, heading out the door already.

"Is that why you're rooming with me?" I call after her, grabbing my stuff for the day, chasing her down the hall.

"I just have one motive here, Billie, and that's keeping you safe," she just looks straight ahead, walking faster.

"God, you sound so psychotic all the time. What's up with that? You literally don't even know me. And you keep talking about protecting me, but really, what have you done so far? All you've done is either help or ignore my bullies. What are you protecting me from?" I fire off questions and accusations. I can tell I got under her skin, stating the obvious.

"I can't tell you that," Juliet spots the three girls and waves. They look at her strangely, seeing us together, but I don't care. It's me or them.

"Be cryptic about it then. I'll just follow you then, and find out for myself," I decide, feeling courageous as we get up to them.

"Um, what's up?" Ashton frowns at Juliet, and none of them even look at me. Looks like she got the memo though, because they're all literally wearing fucking pink.

"Why are you walking around with... that," Chloe smirks, tilting her head towards me. I open my mouth but Juliet answers first.

"I was placed in her room, now she just follows me around everywhere, like an annoying mosquito swarming around your head at night that just keeps coming back," Juliet laughs and I burn red in anger.

"You're such a fucking liar," I snap, pushing Juliet, but she doesn't even budge.

"Ew, don't touch me," Juliet backs away, and switches positions, so it's just me against a line of four girls, all taller than me, literally looking down at me. Veronica steps forward, and tosses out her iced coffee all over my shirt.

"Oops," she rolls her eyes and all four of them walk away. I stand there, dripping with coffee, waiting for Juliet to turn around, to say "sorry, baby," but it doesn't happen.

I run back to our room, enraged. She's toxic, and I hate it.

I grab a bottle of cranberry juice and pull off her comforter, dumping it all over her sheets. I rip all of her stupid decorations off the wall, shredding them to pieces, and leaving the remnants on her bed. I grab a pair of scissors and cut all of her bra straps in half. I take all of her clothes out of the drawers, shove them in a bag, and toss it out the window. I search the room in anger for something else to destroy. Then I look to my side of the room, finding the journal she got me. I light a match and let the papers burn almost to ash, then dump my water bottle over it to extinguish the fire. I leave the burned journal on her bed.