sempiternal (billie eilish)

milk & cookies

A/N: we're gonna slowly get more of Juliet's backstory ;)

inspo: milk and cookies, melanie martinez

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One, two, melatonin is coming for you. Three, four, baby won't you lock the door?

Billie's POV:

I can't think of anything sadder than the amount of times I've packed and unpacked my boxes, thinking this time, I'd never come back to the school. I used to think I ran like water off of its varnished surface, but now, I see myself as the gum on the floor of the school hallways that gets passed around through the bottoms of thousand dollar shoes.

Perhaps this time, I'll try a new approach. After all, I'm this hot commodity now, the three witchy bitches and the leech each trying to get me to join their make-believe teams. I'm not the naive little girl wearing her heart on her sleeve anymore, I placed the pieces back under my protective rib cage.

At first, I thought of becoming what I hated. But I feel as though I need to admit how weak she makes me. And then, I thought, maybe I'll use that to my advantage. It's like she's this big bad wolf that's kidnapped me and at first I was banging on the walls for an escape. People say that everybody wants what they can't have. That must also mean that nobody wants what they already had.

But I know she's not stupid. Her flaw is that she sees me as this stubborn person that puts up a fight, but at the end of the day, is human. I won't be her to beat her, I'll be exactly who she thinks I am.

"You might want to find yourself a different room," I say to Juliet, my back turned as I hang up my sweatshirts in the closet.

"Why the hell would I do that when you need protecti--"

"You don't even know what the fuck you want or need so how can you tell somebody else that? Stop projecting your life failures onto me. You can't make up for all the ones you've loved and lost by treating me like your blank canvas. I am a person, Juliet. I've existed and had a life before I met you. And anyways, do you really think what you've done is protect me? Look at me. I was every shade of every color before you painted me blood red. That's your favorite color, not mine," I cut her off to protect myself from her gaslighting.

She looks around.

"I'll move across the hall, okay?"

I sit at my desk as I sit on the edge of failing all of my classes. I don't even try to seem like I'm paying attention, I stare directly at the clock, focused on the hand counting the seconds.

What's the use in trying?

When the bell rings, I follow a girl named Alex out of class. She's one of those girls who people seem to not dislike, but they don't worship her either. She kind of floats above the scene, no best friends, but not alone either. To be honest, people like her for what she provides.

"Hey," I catch up to her, ignoring Juliet walking past us. I feel her heavy gaze on me while I focus only on Alex.

"Bruh, what is up with everyone right now? All of the guys are being less of dicks than usual and the girls are all on edge," Alex talks to me like we're close even though we've only spoken together in group projects.

"Probably cause Ashton, Veronica, and Chloe split up. They kind of held everyone together in some weird way," I clue her in and she just nods, and unzips her backpack.

"This is what you want, right?"

I look into it and bite my lip.

"I'm not sure what I want, to be honest. I've never done anything before, really," I find myself admitting. We both lean in against the lockers while Juliet lingers in the distance, watching.