Journal of a Tragic Night!

A horrible scene

Tanner came over at one in the morning on Thursday morning... Wednesday night September 13, 2012. I was in my bed sleeping when he came. He just walks in my room and starts yelling at me to leave Brittany (his girlfriend) alone and stop talking crap on him.

I just say "Okay okay." kind of scared curled up on my bed not knowing what is going to happen afraid that he's going to hurt me or hit me.

At the moment I am thinking "I deserve this I tried to get between him and his girlfriend. I should just let him yell at me and try not to get myself hurt." 

He yells "What in the hell have I ever done to you to make you talk like that about me??" 

I think back to all the horrible things he did to me the past 4 years. While we were together and broken up and say "You have put me through hell for 4 years."

This pissed him off and he says "Oh so our relationship meant nothing?? Did I not treat you well?? Name one person who would tell you I love you everyday" 

I said "You cheated on me." 

He responds by saying "That was your fault... you wouldn't have sex with me." Like he always would say when I brought it up while we were together and even after we broke up.

I am silent to scared to argue and I just don't feel like responding to it cuz we have had that argument so many times and it was getting so old. He starts to calm down a little bit after that and he tried to lay down with me and told me "Move over I want to lay down with you." 

I tell him "No I don't want to." and move closer to the edge of my bed. My bed is small if you sleep close to the edge there is no room to lay down without moving my pillows and stuffed animals beside me.

He says "Fine I'll lay on the other side" and starts crawling over me so he can lay behind me.

I say no and move over to my chair across the other side of my room.

He says "You do realize that you can't sleep over there." I was silent I had no response for him I just didn't want to lay by him. Then he says "Fine I'll sleep here your bed is comfortable." and starts trying to get comfortable.

I continued to be silent and I started thinking about all the things he has done to me since I met him. Cheating on me, threatening to go after my friends when they told me about his cheating, then later using me to cheat on his new girlfriend etc. This starts to make me tear up all the pain and memories resurfacing. All the memories I tried toforget and move past.

He sees me crying and says "What?? Why are you crying??" getting pissed off all over again.

All I say is "You put me through hell for 4 years." 

This pisses him off even more which isn't good and he yells "You should just shut up and take this after you screwed me over and dumped me"

I continue to tear up and say quietly "You broke up with me." but I wipe away my tears so he would stop yelling at me.

He comes over and sits on my lap and starts pulling the back of my hair and making me kiss him. I kept turning my head away from him and saying no. He does this twice maybe 3 times. 

Then he gets off me and sits in front of me and says "Why don't you want to do anything with me??"

I say "Because I have no feelings for you and you have a girlfriend AND a baby."

In response he puts his hands on my breasts to prove some kind of point and gives me a look like "What you gonna do about it??" I don't know what point he was trying to make honestly.

I tell him "No don't touch me."

I keep saying "Please stop" over and over again. 

He says "Oh you are making me so hard."

I keep telling him to stop and he pulls out his dick and starts masturbating. I continued to tell him to stop and he gets on top of me and trying to pull out my breasts.

I start bawling and I mean bawling I am no longer tearing up a little. All I keep thinking is "He's gonna rape me" and "I need to get my phone and text Hunter and to help me." (My friend who told me to text him or call him if Tanner ever comes over and tries anything AGAIN.) but I thought "Well he would probably have raped me already by the time he got here since he lives in the country and it would take 10 to 20 minutes to get here"

He sees and hears me crying and he starts to feel bad (He does have a heart sometimes... shocker I know.) and he gets off me and starts saying "Whats wrong?? Please don't cry you know I hate when you cry." He tries to hug me and comfort me but I just push him away. 

At some point he starts back up with masturbating and I take the opportunity of him not being on top of me anymore and get up and run to my bed and grab my phone and text Hunter two words "Help me."

Tanner notices this and asks "Who did you just text??

I just say no one and he drops it he only has one track mind right now. He's horny and he's gonna get me to do stuff with me.

He continues to masturbate and starts trying to finger me through my shorts and grabbing my ass. I get up and run out of my room before he could block the door way to get out and run across the hall to the bathroom and locked myself in. I drop to the floor and continue to bawl. 

My 10 year old sister hears me bawling and the door being slammed and comes and starts pounding on the door trying to get me to let her in. Tanner sees Allie and bolts saying "Fine I'll leave bitch" on his way out.