Flare (xmen)

Chapter 21: "Yourself doesn't count"

I remember one scene in X-Men with Michael Fassbender, and his smile made him look like a watered down, de makeup-ed version of Heath Ledger's Joker. Just a thought. 

Erik and Raven were kissing, with Raven appearing to be in her blue form, and naked. Ali felt a blush creep up her neck and she hurried and shuffled away, terrified of being seen. Once she was a sufficient distance away, she started to process what she had seen. Raven, the girl who made her feel welcome, was kissing a guy. Granted it was Erik, but it still hurt considering that Raven had kissed her. And they had agreed to be friends, but this was just another layer of messed up. And wasn't Raven 22? That made Erik like ten years older than her, which was also kind of weird, but that wasn't too big a deal. Raven could kiss whoever she wanted, right? She totally wasn't bothered by this at all. Where was that damn tequila?

She threw the kitchen door open, and walked in. She effortlessly grabbed a bottle of tequila before a hand plucked it from her hands and a crisp English accent rang in her ears. "No drinking before the mission."

"I really need to get out of my head. Just one drink." Ali tried to placate.

"Bed. Now." Charles tried his best to look intimidating which in Ali's opinion was like her little brother trying to look angry; it just didn't work out. Still, she grumbled and scoffed before stalking out of the room. She walked up the stairs, fuming. Raven could kiss whoever she wanted, who cared what she thought? Just because she thought it was weird..

"Oww!" She bumped into Raven, who was in her blue form, which made her thankful. It was high time that she embraced it fully. But, she was naked, which was very surprising.

"Ahh!" Ali covered her eyes. "Raven, what the hell?"

"You're the one who said my form was beautiful first, and not you're saying that it's not?" Raven crossed her arms stiffly.

Ali was trying her best not to ogle or admire any of Raven's...attributes for lack of a better word. She knew she was pretty red by now. "Raven, I promise you, I care about you for who you are and any form you want you should take. However, can that form involve clothes?"

"What if the form I prefer is one without clothes?" Raven asks before shifting into her blue form with a tank top and leggings. Ali relaxed. What? Raven was hot. She wasn't blind.

"Then, I support you. Yes, it will take some getting used to, but I still support you." Ali grasped her hands. "To thyself be true and who cares what the world thinks?"

"Is that Shakespeare?" Raven wrinkled her nose while snickering. "Did Charles get to you too?"

"No, it's from Peer Gynt." Ali replied. "Heard it once."

"Still nerdy. " Raven teased, making Ali smile. "I think we should go to sleep. You know, big day tomorrow."

"Yeah." Ali knew that Raven was going someplace else. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to make a quick stop." Raven winked, kissing her cheek, making Ali flare red and walking away. She turned and smiled before walking away to her room. Wait, she wasn't supposed to be happy. Raven had just kissed Erik. Why hadn't she asked about that? Right, that meant admitting that she spied on her, even if she did just bump into the scene. She just wanted to talk to someone at the moment because sleep was not coming anytime soon. So, she found herself knocking on Alex's door. He opened it, his hair somewhat messy, but his eyes weren't wrought with sleep.

"Nichols, I'm trying to sleep." Alex tried to sound tired, but she wasn't fooled.

"Summers, you're having just as much trouble with sleeping as I am." Ali stated defiantly. "If you can sleep, I'll go." She turned and before she could make a step, Alex grabbed her hand.

"Fine, you're right." Alex rolled his eyes. "This is the first night that I haven't taken sedatives or something that'll make me get a full night of sleep. Well, since you know, that time." Alex mumbled.

"Yeah, that." Ali muttered. "Do you have any second thoughts about it?" Ali was extremely confused. Erik had tried to convince her not to be a fucking coward, but that just made her even more confused. Damn that asshole.

"About what, that night?" Alex looked confused,

"What, no!" Ali denied. After realizing that was harsh, she backtracked. "I mean, it's about something else."

"Shoot." Alex shrugged.

"Did you ever want to kill something or someone on purpose? Yourself doesn't count." Ali held her hands up. "You tell that to a cop and they'll force you to go to therapy." She mumbled.

"You told that to a cop?" Alex scoffed.  "God, you need a therapist." Alex mumbled. "To answer your question, no, not really." Alex wrinkled his nose. "Do you want to kill someone?"

"Is it bad that I do?" Ali mumbled. "The guy ruined my life, but I'm freaking out. I had a panic attack and I'm not even sure- I don't know, Alex." Ali forcibly ran his fingers through her hair, tearing out the tangles. "I'm terrified. It's like, I'm proving all the voices in my head that I'm really a monster if I kill this guy."

"From what I know about voices in your head, it's a bad idea to listen to them." Alex shrugged. "Kill him or don't. It's always going to be your choice and it'll be on you."

"Thanks," Ali deadpanned. "If I murder someone, it's on me. Yippee."

"Not like that." Alex groaned. "The point is that you should just do whatever you want. Who cares what everyone else thinks?"

"What about what I think?" Ali groaned. "I don't think that I can do that, and one part of my head says that I should do that. It's like my head is splitting, and it's going to break in two."

Alex grabbed her shoulders and turned to face her. "I don't know what that feels like, Nichols. I really don't. But, just go in tomorrow undecided. When you go and face that guy, if you really want to kill him, then do it." Alex added.

"Thanks, Summers." Ali replied softly, and Alex wrapped her into a hug. She sank in it, trying her best not to keep thinking about her problems.

"Now get out so I can go to sleep." Alex shoved her away playfully. She rolled her eyes, laughing as she got off the bed and walked out the door, closing it. She smiled and walked back to her room.

When she came back, she found someone knocking on her door. She tapped the person on the shoulder and they spun around.

"Raven?"

A/N: The last chapter for this night will be posted soon. Depends on how fast I can write, but also ANGSTT!!

Can I mention how she literally tells a cop she wanted to kill herself? Like girl, go to a therapist. This was thrown away as a joke, but that's how Alex is. If it was Hank or Raven, they would've said it more seriously. And I do want to make Ali learn about how to properly cope with her pain. 

-Lonelyhuman out