Two Roads ≫ l.s

20

"No..." I groaned into the pillow reluctantly, shutting my eyes with a sense of dread at the unwanted company of Perrie occupying the edge of the campbed I lay face-down on.

"Come on, Harry..." She sighed sadly, her hand on my shoulder. "Its not going to be that bad. We're all just going to collectively pay our respects together."

"I don't wanna pay mine." I lied grumpily, lifting my head up and glaring at her through my hair.

Of course I wanted to 'pay my respects.' Id be prepared to dedicate the rest of my now-pointless life paying all the respect I had the capacity for. Just not in the company of everyone. I planned to do it alone. In the field. As if we were together again, spending another night of the trip doing what we do best.

"Harry, please." Her blue eyes turned sad, although I refused to back down. "It's what Louis would've wanted."

Bullshit. My mind muttered grumpily. That's all I'd been getting for the past few days. 'It's what Louis would've wanted!', 'Do you think that's what Louis would've wanted you to do?' 'What about what Louis would've wanted?'

They had no clue what 'Louis would've wanted', regardless of how many years of their childhood and early adulthood they'd spent together. The Louis they knew for the majority of their lives, was only the version of Louis on the surface. The visible side of the moon.
Whereas the darkest, most hidden angles and features to Louis I had been so insanely lucky to be introduced to, would've proved that whatever 'Louis on the surface would've wanted!' was miles away from what the Louis I fell in love with would've wanted. And they do say it's what on the inside that counts.
After sitting in the silence-filled tent for a few more expectant minutes, even Perrie gave up.

"Well..." She sighed, gently standing up and pulling her hand away from my shoulder. "I'll leave you to it in case you change your mind. I'll just be outside if you need me."

"Hm." I let out a small noise of response, feeling her presence walk further and further towards the tent door. "Thank you." I whispered, although it was so hushed there was such a slim chance she would've heard.
I knew she meant well. Of course I did. She was my best friend. But she just failed to understand. Anything. All of them did.

I sighed to myself, rolling over on the bed and shuffling a little in an attempt to get comfortable. I froze.

I was suddenly met by a muffled crackling coming from underneath my pillow. I frowned, putting it down to being the fabric catching the label before uncomfortably repositioning myself again, before being interrupted by the same irritating paper-like crackle causing disturbance for my sad-fuelled sleeping attempts. I shuffled again, sliding my hand under the pillow before my fingers touched crumpled paper. I gulped, feeling my heart pound suddenly as I pulled it out, revealing a folded page ripped out of a horribly familiar notebook.

I took a deep breath, feeling my stomach churn sickeningly as my eyes trailed across the shakily written "Dear Harry." on the surface. The familiarization of the handwriting gave me half a mind to throw the paper straight into the bin without giving it a second glance. Of course, this was exactly what I didn't do.

Taking another deep breath, I closed my eyes and bit down on my lip, unfolding the page with a sense of dread. Gathering up the courage to finally open my eyes once the message had been opened, I lifted my eyelids, to be met with only four words, much to the contrary of my expectation.

Look in your book.

Oh. My eyes flickered over to the corner of the overflowingly huge book peeping out of my rucksack, wondering if actually looking inside was a good idea or not. I'd already been all too familiar with brutal mistakes when it came to Louis and I, and this opportunity was one I was sick of risking messing up. The only problem being, I didn't know if messing it up would be by looking in it, or not looking in it.