Delilah 'Blue' O'Connell

three

wednesday

every night always seemed to go the same way nowadays, i either spent the night overthinking or i crashed out in a instant.

last night was one of the long nights that felt like it would never end, and the more i begged for it to, the longer it seemed to last.

so it's safe to say that i am extremely tired today and as a result of the lack of sleep, my emotions are all over the place.

which means that school today could be...well...interesting to say the least.

"are you up yet?" i heard mom call.

for some reason that was the one thing that i dreaded to be asked every morning as it always seemed to put me in a bad mood.

something about being talked to in the morning truly irritates me to the core.

is it rude to say that?
what if mom thinks i'm annoyed at her?
how does she know that i'm not?

"blue?" she called, her voice sounding closer this time.

yet i couldn't seem to bring myself to answer her, instead reverting within myself and hoping that it would be enough to keep me calm for now.

"blue?...are you okay?" she questioned.

i lifted my eyes upon noticing her presence in the room, hoping that it would give her a good enough answer without me having to talk.

"has something happened?" she spoke softly.

i felt my head shake from side to side, alerting her to the fact that this was an internal feeling that hadn't been influenced by an external factor.

she nodded, letting me know that she might've understood what i was trying to tell her even if she said those exact words.

mom clearly knew that i wasn't in the mood for a conversation because she instantly headed towards the closet.

"it's a little cold out today so i think you should probably wear something warm." she began to mutter to herself.

i watched closely as she picked out my clothes, clearly attempting to make my day easier by doing some of my tasks for me.

does she want to do this for me?
maybe she finds it annoying?
should i just do it?

"is this okay?" i heard her ask.

my eyes scanned the clothes that she had in her hand before i nodded my head, agreeing that what she had chosen was okay.

if i'm being honest, i wasn't really bothered about what outfit she had picked out because i was bound to be back in my pyjamas soon enough.

i just know how today's gonna go.
i'm terrified to go to school.
what if i embarrass myself?
what if something happens?

"i'm gonna leave to let you get changed but when you're done let me know and i'll sort your hair for you." she told me.

once again i found myself nodding, not really paying attention to what she was saying because i knew for a fact that she would remind me anyway.

"i'll be back in five minutes." she spoke, laughing to herself as she left.

why was she laughing at me?
did i do something that was funny?
i don't think i did.

the second that she left my room you would assume that i would begin to get ready but unfortunately for me, that isn't how my days go.