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"You've been awfully distracted lately," Si-Young remarks.
Clink.
"Really? I didn't notice." Jeong-Soon digs at his empty plate, relishing the metallic scrape of his fork against the scratched ceramic. It sounds like the off-key chafe of his heart, another wretched, tuneless twist in the side of the music box that is his chest.
He tries to block those thoughts out, tries to manifest positivity like Mia always encourages him to, but his mind is a rabbit hole. Think think think, venom spreading through his brain. Word vomit down an endless, poison-slick chute. Was I too much of an asshole to Gregory? Did I ruin his chances of making friends? Would he have made any anyway? He remembers Gregory standing in his music class, hands rolled into fists, scowl permanently etched into his face like footprints in wet cement. Probably not.
Jeong-Soon can't help feeling guilty, though. Even though he knows Gregory had been the one to start it, he also knows that he shouldn't have continued the fight---shouldn't have allowed spite to consume him, just for a brief moment of satisfaction. He should have stepped back, stopped himself from muddying the waters further.
It's too late, though.
"See what I mean?" Si-Young pipes up suddenly. Jeong-Soon jerks, startled, elbow bumping into his still-full water glass. He steadies it just before it tilts, and wonders if he'd be able to keep his feelings for Gregory Gan from spilling over the same way---by catching himself before he falls.
"Sorry." Jeong-Soon's fingers creep into his brown locks, running over his abused scalp nervously. The once-silky strands feel dry---straw-like and paper-thin. They look better than they feel, but he should probably take a break from dying his hair. No more bleaching, he tells himself. Even though he knows he won't listen, it's still worth a try. "I didn't hear what you just said."
"Because I didn't say anything. I was just proving a point." Si-Young twirls tomato linguine around her fork with practiced grace, a self-satisfied smirk curling on her mouth. Jeong-Soon continues scraping sauce from his plate, cheeks burning. He really has been distracted lately, his attention miles away from the things that should be important to him---his sister, his girlfriend, his grades.
