In Their Hands ✧･ BARNES ✔

𝐩𝐭. 𝐢𝐢| 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Zola was downstairs doing some of the homework that Natasha had given her. They didn't feel like finding a school for her, so they decided to home school her. She had her large textbook sitting before her, as well as her laptop. She wanted to go to school, but she was kind of happy that she didn't have to because it seemed like a lot of work to get ready in the morning.

She also didn't like learning too much so it was better that she had the choice to do it on her own time. Technically it wasn't her choice, but she could do things a little slower and always have help from her parents.

Lately, Zola hadn't been getting along with them. Their lives circled around Ilona now, and if she got jealous and wanted attention, they could never give it to her. She started to take her anger out on them because of that. She was getting herself into more and more trouble because she would always give them attitude. She just wanted them to pay attention to her.

They were upstairs playing with Ilona. Zola had gotten mad because they were letting Ilona play with her dolls. It was small, but again, whenever she could take her anger out on them, she did. She also didn't want the baby eating her dolls and throwing them around.

Her parents sent her out of the room, and since she had nothing better to do, she got started on the homework that she had been procrastinating on.

Even if she didn't want to give her dad credit at the moment, his taste in music had been helping her a lot. She had been listening to Green Day's music whenever she got mad or unhappy. Her mom didn't like her listening to the music too much because they were always cussing. She figured Zola had most likely started pronouncing "beach" the wrong way because of their music.

She was listening to their older album, "Nimrod". It was her favorite one so far. Sometimes, she would take her dad's radio and she would blast the album in her room if her parents had been annoying her. She tried to isolate herself as much as possible when she was upset.

She felt like Ilona's presence had been changing her life more negatively rather than positively. Her parents seemed so irritable, and so did she. They weren't sleeping too much because Ilona didn't either. Zola had been having trouble sleeping because she was constantly trying to do it alone instead of going to her parents. She was being petty. She needed them so that she could sleep better, but she didn't want it to seem like she was weak, especially if they weren't on great terms.

When her parents were angry with her, they would get on her for every small thing. That included her chores, or leaving toys or wrappers around. She hated it so much. They were taking their anger out on each other. They didn't understand how else to handle it. Her parents were so young, too. They had two kids and they weren't even past twenty-three.

She wanted to go sleep with her parents again. She was feeling exhausted daily because she could barely sleep alone. She wanted to be with them, but her pride didn't want her to be. She felt like her parents didn't care about her as much right now, so if she showed that she needed them, it made her feel dumb. It shouldn't have, but it did.

Sitting and thinking about it made her so angry. It made her so mad that her eyes stung with tears. She could hear them upstairs having fun with Ilona, which didn't make it any better. She wanted to play her music louder so that she couldn't hear them. While they were angry with her, they could still have fun with her sister. It angered her because it wasn't the same the other way around.

She heard footsteps coming down the stairs and she tried to force her tears away. She dragged an arm across her eyes so that maybe it wouldn't be so clear that she was crying.