John's POV
"Where's your girlfriend, brother?", Anna asked me as we were sitting at the breakfast table.
I shrugged. I was quite pissed off Sam had left without hearing me out and I concluded this relationship thing wasn't it.
All I really wanted was to have a conversation about the concept of love. Why is that such a bad thing? We always have to reflect ourselves and the things we do and say. If we don't, we can never grow. We'll stand still. But I need progress, I need to talk about things that go on inside of me, I need to go to the bottom of things. Why not go to the bottom of a relationship?
Doing that, it doesn't mean I don't love her. That's total bullshit. Why would I do this stupid wedding-esque ceremony if I didn't love her? It makes no sense. She should know that. Why would she question it? Who the hell does she think I am? I don't do things like that for fun. I don't try to hurt people.
Well, I thought Sam was a girl I could have deep conversations with. But it turns out, she's just like most of the girls. A fucking mystery. Or even worse, just a flat character.
And of course, I had a record to worry about. We were gonna have to finish it sooner or later. And it was such fun and I was so proud of it. It was the most colorful work me and the bad had ever done. If you get what I'm saying. It seemed like our music had ripened. And now it wasn't just a small seed, but it was a flower with all kinds of beautiful colors and shades. It wasn't just funky, it was deep and dark and melodic and fresh and powerful. It made my heart jump.
Most of all, I felt in place in the writing process. I was creative and happy to put myself into it. Unlike with Mother's Milk where I was quite shy to bring in my style and personality. And frankly, I hadn't already found my style back then. Now I was more confident. And that had to do with the fact that I had found my place in the band. While Tony was mocking me from time to time, deep down I knew he was respecting me as a musician. And the musical energy I shared with Flea was pure magic.
Well, I felt like relationship troubles were taking that away from me. I had to give this record my everything. I felt it was gonna be a big part of my legacy. It was bigger than anything I had done before and possibly will do in the future. You can never expect to have this magical creative bond forever. It's gonna fade eventually. So I had to give it my all.
And I tried my best to stay happy and confident and focused. And just in my element, creating art with my friends.
„You loser scared her away. What did you do?", Anna asked.
„You're such a drag", I mumbled.
„Oh come on", she said and spooned more cereals. With a full mouth she said „Bad habits."
„What are you talking about?"
„You're just being a dickhead but you're not reflected enough to see it", she said and grinned provocatively.
I rolled my eyes and left her to eat her cereals on her own. What did she know? She wasn't there. And also she was just 14 and so clueless.
She yelled after me: "Remember, girls are always right."
Oh, you wish little sister.
Well, I was not interested in talking to her. Sam wasn't right at all. At least, she should have heard me out. We could be spending the most wonderful times right now. I would've made her dinner even though I don't know how to cook, I would have watched old movies with her, we could be watching the stars every night. Even though that's quite corny. But I have to admit, these nights up here in Laurel Canyon were just the most amazing thing. Just sitting in our garden, a mild warm night, trees and plants surrounding you and a sky to get lost in.
Oh hell, I did miss her already. But what the fuck was I to do? She walked out on me. She was wrong, I wasn't. No, I wasn't ready to search the fault in my behavior. It's my right to want to talk about things like that to my girlfriend. It was nothing wrong. She needs to understand. And she needs to think about it. And then she can come back. I'll probably forgive her.
