Teaching is Hard (But At Least I Have You) (Drarry Draco x Harry Fanfic) (Crack)

Chapter 1

⚠️WARNING:⚠️

THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

CHAPTER 1

It was another Monday morning for Harry Potter. Another day, another new year of stupid brats coming to learn in his stupid muggle 4th grade class.

    "Ugh..." Harry said as he spun around in his old office chair.

     "Hello..?" came an handsome voice.

Just then, in the room of dim light, came a god. Not just any God, however. A god without a capital g, because this god sucked. He was hot. But he sucked. He gasped as this hot but not so cool man came through the room with slicked back white-blond hair and a long black trench coat, accompanied with a green and silver necktie.

     "Ugh!!!!! What kind of lame fashion is that?" Harry complained loudly as he swiveled around in his chair to face the strange intruder.

     "Also, who the actual bloody heck are you?" Harry said in a grumpy tone. (He couldn't swear, because he was in a 4th grade classroom).

       "Hullo, the name's Draco Malfoy," the man sniffed as he sat onto a students chair that was a few inches from Harry, Draco's pale but handsome face uncomfortably close to his. This incredibly hot and smexy man was THE Draco Malfoy? No way.

Harry started to scoot the chair a little farther away because he could see his hair balding, and it wasn't exactly what one would call a pleasant sight.  "Er, I'm Harry. Harry Pottah."

       "So, where are you from?~" Draco smirked at Harry.

      "Uhm, don't you already know??" Harry said, picking at his gothly black emo nails. Draco kept scooting his chair closer to him.

      "You know, I like old men," Draco whispered as Harry's chair hit the floor, and quick as lightning, Draco  had his right hand on his thigh, the other on the wall.

       "H-huh- W-what are you doing?" Harry said as he started blushing. "This is a 4th grade classroom..."

But Harry couldn't resist. Right then, in his tunneled vision, the only thing he could bring himself to see was Draco's gorgeous lips, his fluttering pale eyelashes, and the smallest splash of freckles on his cheeks.

The room of light seemed to dim again as Harry's lips attached almost subconsciously to Draco's mouth. His eyes lazily looked over to the open door, then widened.

Some random puny kid had been adjusting the lighting to fit the mood! What the bloody-

"Um, M-mr. Potter?" He squeaked, his eyes widening. One look told both teachers that he had seen it all. Even worse, there was a phone in his trembling hand. After one final click of the camera, the brat turned and ran, presumably to the principal's office to report the vulgar scene.

Harry' face turned into what could only be told as pure, unadulterated fear. Dracos's face had turned purple with rage. Both of them scrambled after the kid, who was running as fast as he could with his phone to the principal's office.

Ignoring the other children's surprised yelps as they pushed through a large crowd of new students, Draco and Harry tried to perform a large series of advanced spells and flips to reach the other side of a long table that the runaway brat had jumped over.

Keyword: tried.  They were far from the youthful athletes they had been when they were younger.

Instead, they promptly fell on top of each other, the desk crashing down to the floor. Harry was on top of Draco , who was turning beet red. Draco  wondered if this was the right time to kiss Harry. Harry was embarrassed because he had just broken a bunch of furniture and could possibly get fired, which meant no free valentines day gift from 30 students, or money to buy his weekly beers. Also, he wouldn't be able to see Draco  again.

But even more to his dismay, a crowd of 4th graders had gathered to watch the two teachers' pain. (Or, one, the other was probably enjoying the whole ordeal). Most of them were snickering to themselves, but Harry knew that it was only a matter of time before a supervisor came. So what did he do?

He fled.

Grabbing Draco 's hand, he dragged them away from the crowd and into the storage room outside, which was rarely used. He figured if they hid for a long time, maybe they would suffocate and save Harry from paying the HUGE fine that he was definitely going to have to give up 5 months worth of beer for.

ooo

Meanwhile....

That demonic brat who took the photo was still running, not even daring to look back as he sped his way through the road. No, he wasn't going to the principal's office, he was going home. He was like, TOTALLY going to blackmail the teachers after he backed up the files onto his google drive.

It was amazing, having all this power to hold over a teacher's head. Ever since he was small, he always felt that the teacher was bullying him, yelling at him to stop fighting with the students or hurting others. It wasn't like Billy had been that hurt anyways. He only had to go to the ER for his concussion and beaten skull. He'd done worse before, it was all completely under control!

There was nothing better to do. It would be a great opportunity to get back at Mr. Potter for yelling at him for running in the halls during lunch on pizza day. Nothing made the kid more bitter than getting a pepperoni pizza instead of the cheese just because Mr. Potter had forced him to walk all the way back. He wanted to watch the life being squeezed out of Mr. Potter's eyes as he desperately begged for release, wanted to hear his tortured scream as he took the life of the man he loved. He wanted to tie Mr. Potter up and drown him in ice cold water, wanted to hear his last gurgling breaths as the light in his eyes finally gave out. That would teach him for preventing him from getting his well deserved cheese pizza.

No one would ever take his pizza again.