(DISCONTINUED) Shattered | A 5up Fanfiction

-•> Chapter 18 <•-

-•) Chapter Title: Chances (•-

Yoo, thank you all for the support recently! This writing stuff was just a fun hobby at first but then I had wrote this and I met so many amazing people and I was given so many chances (pun not intended). I've been able to reach to many fan bases with being able to reach 5up, Fundy, and 5undy fans just from some stupid book. I would say stupid book but now I'm proud of this "stupid book"

Thank you all

Road to 8k!

-•] TW | Tears, mentioning of Suicide, mentioning of self harm, eating disorder?, throwing up, and "Voices." | TW [•-

[5up POV]

I look up, staring at the ceiling contemplating my decisions in life. I can't stop thinking about what I've done. I've let so many people down. I thoughts I could stop but I couldn't fight the urge. I'm so weak, I can't do anything.

Tears drift down my eyes and onto the bed bellow me keeping myself comfortable but am I really comfortable? It feels like I'm laying down on spikes, but it's normal feelings at this point.

Knock knock knock

Three bangs on a door is enough to scare me at this fragile state I'm in. I hide my head under the blanket waiting for a beating, or pain, or just anything bad that I deserve.

"5, you here?" A very nervous Hafu says from the other side of the door.

I hear a few twist and turns on the knob by my door but in a few seconds it gives in and the door opens. I curl into a ball under my blanket trying to hide from whatever is to come to give me what I deserve. After a few seconds of hiding I feel a tug on the blanket and eventually it lifts up and with the blanket I see a worried Hafu sighing from could only be relief.

"5up... you scared me..." Hafu says nervously.

I curl more into the ball, with grief and bad memories flooding my head. I hurt myself, for what? To leave this planet, I deserve it.

"I-I'm so sorry... Hafu.. p-please don't h-hurt me..." I say wishing I hadn't said a word just then.

As much as I say it, she should hurt me. I deserve it. I've stripped her off her normal life just to help someone she barley knows.

Her eyes start to tear up and she looks at me with sorrow in her eyes and sadness in her breath.

"5... I-I would never do anything to you.. j-just please think better... ok?

I feel... better. I feel like I've been given a seconds chance, one I don't deserve but still a second chance. Hafu... she makes me happier. She helps me with everything I go through and even after everything I do....

She's still there for me...

I finally get the courage to slip out of the ball I've hidden in so many times before and wrap my arms around Hafu, hugging her. Letting her know everything she's done to has helped. Maybe things will be good. Not soon. Not yet. You can't be freed from something you've created yourself.

I wish I could've done better, so many times. I understand that everything that I've done to myself was necessary for me to learn a lesson but I feel happy...

Hafu looks down at me and hugs me back while saying nothing, but her smile is still there to comfort me.

"Thank you..." I manage to say.

"Your the one coping with everything, thank yourself." Hafu responds readsuringly, like she always does.

I want to but I can't. I've done so much wrong.

I betrayed my mother's trust. I hurt myself.

I wanted to die even after the opportunities I was given in life and on the internet.

So many people wouldn't just get the fame and trash it away with their life.

"I have some food downstairs if you need any..." Hafu says, obviously trying to get me out of bed, and it works.

"I'm starving if I'm being honest." I respond back to her. I haven't been eating much food lately and I don't want to relapse....

I grab my crutches which were leaning to the side of the bed, which then I slip my hands through the holes of the crutches and attempt to stand up with them, which I succeed at.

I watch as Hafu leaves the room and goes downstairs, which makes me think about how jealous I am of her. I wish I could be normal and not have to use some metal poles when walking around. I hate it, but it's my life.

I slowly pull myself out of my room and into the hallway which I carefully lug myself down each step of the staircase. After about a minute I make it down the stairs and it's smooth sailing from the bottom of the stairs to the table.

I start to think, why does Hafu care for me so much? It's hard for me to answer but I should live with the fact that she does care for me, hopefully.

I sit down at the dining table and begin to eat my food, feeling... odd as each piece of the waffle goes down my stomach and after only a few pieces I feel like throwing up all the food.

Thankfully Hafu was in the other room at the time so I didn't have to worry. I go through the same procedure of putting my hands through the holes and pulling my body to my destination until I reach the downstairs bathroom.

I bunch my body over the bowl and throw up everything I had ate into the bowl and just then and there, my body gives into the relaxation of feeling free, and drifts into a abyss.

_______________________

Angsty and Fluffy

Putting my own problems onto space man :)

Was feeling motivated, so I wrote. Thank you all for the support, it really motivates me!

Also on other topics...

Revive community oneshots plz

^^(Bassically you can write and submit your own 5up one shots to me on discord [EP6 #4736] or wattpad messages and I'll add them to the one shot book [on my page] crediting the original creator. My only goal from this is to promote smaller writers and give them chances [no pun intended])

Also read chains (Fundy Angst, I'm working hard on it)

Follow me or gun

Anyways have a nice day!

(You can ask me questions related to the story by commenting on this paragraph oWo)

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