Lacuna

Chapter 4

The next morning I am awakened by the cold wind breeze which drafts the curtains slightly, air seeping in through the window, moving the kitchen's sweet scent inside the room. I check beside me and I notice the covers have been moved, only to my side of the bed and the door is cracked open an inch. Checking the time, I see that the red neon letters read '10:45am,' and I sigh, releasing all the tension in my body.

Afew minutes pass, and Perseus creeks open the door, revealing in his hand is a plate with a stack of golden brown pancakes, shiny chocolate syrup glazed on top, followed by fresh strawberries scattered evenly around them.

"Holy shit you can cook!" I say in surprise, reaching for the food over the metal bed frame, cracking my back as I do so.

"Ay ay watch it they are still hot!"

"Okay I guess i'll wait a little." I pout, adjusting my legs so I sit cross legged, facing toward him.

"Oh by the way both my parents work from 7 till 6, so we got the apartment to ourselves until then."

"You spend all your time alone in your apartment all day? Doesn't that get boring?" I snatch the plate from Perseus, sticking my pointer finger into the chocolate sauce, then I lick it, which leaves some stuck under my nail.

"Of course it does, but now I have you." He moves in closer, pulling himself on the bed in front of me, his eyes looking back at mine and he touches my jaw slightly pulling it closer for him to examine.

"We have each other." I say, struggling to make eye contact. He pulls my face so close that our noses meet, and he softly kisses my cheek then pulls back, releasing his hand from my face.

"And I'm never taking that for granted." His features soften as he sighs, rubbing my wrist then standing back up to open his closet. I slowly stand up, stretching my back then placing the breakfast plate on the bed. His closet contains freshly ironed pants and shirts, most of them are neutral tones, but one sweater catches my eye. The sweater hangs sloppily on the rack, a grass green tone, with black stripes that lay vertical. I zone out, my thoughts begin to get foggy, almost as if taking over me I am back with Evan at the house. I see him wearing that sweater, his knuckles covered in my blood, my weak body begging to escape. My arms are tied behind me and his sweater reeks of sweat and tears. The thought gets too realistic and I begin to quiver, visualizing him striking me with his blade across my boney arms.

"Florence? What's wrong Florence? Answer me!" Perseus' voice appears distant, almost muffled and his warm hands grab mine rather aggressively only adding to the realism of my thoughts.

"LET ME GO!" I scream in horror slapping Perseus across the face, he immediately puts his hand on his cheek, then removes it uncovering a red tinted mark.

"I- I'm sorry Perseus, the-" I hesitate as my words begin to spill out in guilt.

"Th- the sweater, it's the one E-Evan has." I break down, my hands covering my eyes, which I then bury in the carpet.

"Shit I- are you okay?" He says selflessly ignoring his bruise, and he stands up, sitting behind me, and wraps his arms around me rocking me side to side.

"He's not here, you're with me, it's okay you're safe." His voice softens as he melts into me, comforting me with his touch.

"I'm sorry Perseus, it was an accident." My tears flood my face which is then removed from the carpet and I spin around, facing him I launch into him, and he hugs me tightly.

"It's okay baby, I get it." Leaning into him my tears continue flooding, flashes of Evan appear, the images of me running, of him grabbing me, of me not being able to move appear. My eyes flutter, I try to focus on the real world but I struggle and the story plays over again, he beats me, I see Perseus, I see Evan, I see him, I see a stranger, I see a lover. I sob until my thoughts even out and I only see Perseus, but my body continuously shakes in pain.

"It felt so real, like, I was back there with him." I say emotionless, my body slumped in front of him. Peeking back at the sweater, I see Evan again but this time he smiles at me whilst wiping away my tears, then he quickly holds my limp body against the wall by my neck. My face turns purple and he screams at me, but I only hear the drowning sound of my sobbing.

I stand there helpless, using what strength I have left in an attempt to pry his hands away from my throat. My head gets dizzy, my thoughts become blurry and my arms then rest beside me but then he releases me, my body plummeting quickly to the ground. I open my eyes wide appearing now in Perseus' apartment, I struggle for breath, the thoughts still lingering. Trying to catch myself, I look at him which seems to help for a split second.

Perseus quickly gets up grabbing the sweater and running to the kitchen to retrieve a lighter. He opens the window more, Lighting the flame, handing it to me, and he nods at me, giving me permission. Following his ask, I hold the lighter, taking a deep breath, I place it beside the sweater, a spark then causes the sweater to burn, the spreading flames reach high. I now hold it, the warmth being felt by my hand. I hold it for longer, losing my thoughts as I stare into the flames, which get larger by the wind which flows from the window. My breathing gets heavier and my tears fall into the fire, by then I toss it out the window, but I don't look back and as I turn away from the window whisper under my breath I say:

"Because of him, I'm always going to be scared.

Always."