Sweet Distraction ✔︎

[27] 𝑳𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔

Fernwah. The feeling of missing a place she’d never been.

Was there a word for missing a person she’d never met? If so, that was what Isabelle had felt all those years before she met Evan. All her escaping and running away had concealed the void inside her, the one into which Evan fit so perfectly. All the loneliness and fear she’d denied, the search for belonging… everything had led her back to a town she hadn’t liked. A place where she’d felt acute loss.

And there Evan was. The answer to her unasked question.

Stay safe.

For him, she would. Because even now, she couldn’t rid herself of the hope that she would one day find her way back to him. How else could she explain why every single circumstance and choice she’d made had brought their two lives together? As if her locked heart had been seeking his damaged heart all along.

After leaving Rainsville, she’d boarded a plane to Tokyo, where the neon-lit skyscrapers and jam-packed marketplaces failed to enthrall her as they always had before. In fact, nothing about travel held the same appeal.

Now, the best part of being away were the calls, texts, and emails she exchanged several times a day with Jupiter—sometimes quick sentences about what they were doing, sometimes longer discussions about the holidays or Jupiter’s plan to meet Isabelle somewhere during a break from her courses. The new connection to her sister was a bright, shining thread through Isabelle’s days.

Until she saw Jupiter again, she continued to travel alone. She went to Italy, though the earthquake happened before she made it to Assisi. From there, she boarded a train to Munich and then Vienna, where she stayed for several days.

She visited various cafés and sampled a decadent cake, warm apple strudel, chocolate hazelnut pudding, and vanilla cookies. Evan would definitely choose the Sachertorte, a chocolate sponge cake layered with apricot jam and topped with dark chocolate ganache, as his “perfect” Viennese dessert.

As the weeks passed, she heard from Jupiter  that Evan’s recovery continued to be smooth and uneventful—exactly what they had all hoped for and what the doctors had anticipated given Evan’s youth and overall excellent health. He was busy with cardiac rehabilitation and a new position at Candy King.

Isabelle was happy to hear all of that. She only wished she could be there with him. She’d always been a solo traveler, intrepid and fearless. But for the first time, she felt as if the world was too big for her. As if she needed another hand to hold.

After Vienna, a series of emails led her back to India at the invitation of Rajiv and Amrita, the young couple whose wedding she had attended five years ago. Her Lock Heart blog post about the wedding remained one of her favorites, as she’d been genuinely delighted to join the festivities. She’d loved everything about the Hindu wedding, from the jewel-toned saris to the intricate henna mehndi, the sacred rituals, and the reception laden with food and joyful bhangra music.

The warmth extended to her by the families continued during her visit, where she found the couple living close to both their parents with Rajiv working at a network services company near Delhi. They had two young children, a boy and a girl who kept Amrita and her mother-in-law busy.

Isabelle took pictures of the gorgeous, black-eyed children, of their teatime and family meals around the dinner table. She went with them to a cricket match, accompanied Amrita during her daily shopping, and played with the children. She gave the girl, Kamala, the wooden elephant Evan had whittled.

Love wound through everything the family did, even if it was expressed in subtle ways. Amrita buying a packet of Chiclets for her daughter and pouring her husband’s tea. Rajiv asking for his wife’s opinion and bringing her a jasmine flower to wear in her hair. The grandmothers’ endless stream of advice about the children and housekeeping. Amrita’s mother-in-law giving her a new type of coconut oil.