The Ones We Don't See

Dear Diary

"Anxiety, depression, eating disorders I could go on and on. But I won't, and you'll thank me. Cause even though you think you know me you don't. How could you. My name? Niall. My home. Don't have one. Yeah I'm homeless. You're scared of me now huh. Like the kids who scream and run when I walk out to my street corner. The corner where I play guitar to live. The corner where I'm insulted and beaten? Yeah. You don't know me. Regardless I make do. I'm alive. But is this really living. Simple answer. No. Long answer? I am utterly and deeply passionate about nothing in my life. Do I go to school? Sadly yes. I change in the alley. Put on my cleanest clothes and go to school. Then I get bullied and beaten. But I learn. I learn how to keep myself from getting a concussion, and I learn how to hide my life from the teachers. Teachers mean cops and cops mean social workers and social workers mean orphanages . I've seen enough in my life to know that's the last place I wanna be. What keeps me going you may ask. The moon. I know that my brothers are out there under the same moon. Separated from me, that's how my mother wanted it. They would all be in college now. Forgot about my sorry ass I'm sure. It's better that way. At least out here I'm not a burden to them. I can't help but wonder if they meant it when they said they would find me. I hate them. I hate them. They keep me going though. Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn. My older brothers. Liars, said they would find me after mom kicked me away for being "an attention seeking whore." I don't know why she hated me. Don't know why she couldn't love me like she loved them. It's been four years. Four years and I haven't heard from them. But it's better that way. That's what I tell myself. I'm a sophomore by the way not that you care. Sixteen. I was twelve when mom threw me out. Too bad for her I was already gone before I left. Mentally I mean, gone mentally. Suppose that's what made me selfish huh mom. My depression. Yeah. That's it for now. Signing off. - Niall"

Niall sighed as he closed his journal. His oldest brother gave it to him for his 12th birthday. 

Louis, he thought as he ran his fingers over the leather of the journal. 

Four years he'd waited for his older brothers. Four. 

His tears fell from his face as he laid his head on his backpack. Shutting his eyes and shivering from the cold, Niall fell asleep. 

Praying his brothers were looking up at the same moon, and thinking of him.