Pet (Sakuatsu)

Chapter 23

Atsumu's POV~

I felt disgusted in myself. I felt dirty. I didnt wanna get touched by anyone. I wanted to stay in the shower for as long as I needed. Sakusa was trying to take care of me but I would just give him the silent treatment.

How could he be so calm with me when I killed his father. The man who's sperm created him. He should be angry in me. He should be disappointed that I lost control. 

I havent eaten in 3 days and all I've been wanting to do is sleep. I havent got out of bed. I moved to the guest room so I wouldnt have to deal with Sakusa. I would take a shower in the guest bathroom. 

I've only been wearing hoodies and shorts or just hoodies and sweatpants. My hair was a mess and I had big black bags under my eyes. 

I felt so bad.

I felt disgusting

This was all my fault

Im a murderer

Im a killer

I killed the person i love's father

I dont deserve to be here

I dont deserve his kindness.

Tears streamed down my face as I threw a pillow at the wall. 

"Im sorry!" I screamed as I began to toss and turn. My breathing was getting heavy. I couldnt breath in because it hurt. It hurt my chest. It felt as though there was a knife stabbing into it.

I dont understand why I was reacting so crazy all I knew was I was in deep regret. 

Why did I regret doing it? He was the one who held a gun to my head. If I didnt shoot, he wouldve shot me.

The door opened Snapping me from my painful thoughts. I looked over to see Sakusa. He looked a mess. His hair was all over the place and he looked tired. His eyes had black bags and were red. 

"Tsumu.... im sorry"