BEGUN : Offgun Hanahaki Disease

OFF PART ONE

Off Jumpol’s Pov

“Dearest P’Off ,
It’s me Gun. It’s been a while since the last time we saw each other.
Where did it go wrong right? We were becoming close..
It made me wonder when did it happen?.. Us being close..

Was it that time I annoyed you because
I asked you to babysit Bibi for me?
Is it when you came and visited my
flower shop to buy lilies?
I personally think it was when we went to Chiangmai to see Fluke for the last time.

I still remember how you told me that the hardest part of losing someone isn’t
having to say goodbye and I realize now that you’re right.
Trying to live and fill that void of loneliness is harder.

I don't resent you for not telling me sooner that you were married.
You said “Marriage is like a millennium flower. Finding someone to marry was
as rare as a flower that blooms once in
1000 years"

All I can say was she was very lucky to have a wise man like you. Too bad she had
to go early. Well atleast on her lifetime she had the chance to be with you.
You’re probably confused why I’m telling you all of this?

You’re right I (Gun Atthaphan) have adored you for 5 years since the day of our
first meeting. You’re surprised? You're were dense as fuck. Anyway.. I feel relieved
for telling you this finally. It was excruciating to know

that I didn’t stand a chance against her. You don’t have to feel bad. It’s my choice to
suffer this disease. I accepted it as a punishment for wanting more from a person who shares the same pain as I am.

We shared a lot of good memories
together and I'm thankful that for the remaining months of loving you, you made me happy. I like it when we go on a trip to help me unwind.Playing at the beach
with you

It was fun. I remember you telling me not to fall in love with you. It was useless and
unhelpful haha. The food was amazing.
I hated how you shipped me with Tay the whole trip.

I wanted to kiss your stupid face that time.
On the last day of our trip we went to a park to watch fireworks. We had our little
deep talk and I asked if you wanna walk forward together with me.

“I’ll never let you walk alone” you whispered. My heart fluttered.
That day felt like a dream. If I can turn back time, I wish we did not go home.
That’s where it started to fall apart too.

You became busy with work. I thought it was okay cause you left me to take care of
your house, I got to play the
househusband role. But I was too naive to expect you to change and love me back.