Downfall of Arabella

Kabanata 10: Stay Still

Kabanata 10

Sometimes the only way to start a new is to freeing yourself from expectations and dissapointments.

I just needed time to think without the influence of his presence the reason I've been avoiding him like a plague for two days now. Thank God Lola needs to go to Manila with Lucien at bukas pa ang balik nila. He's trying to talk to me but I manage to escape those attempts buti na lang din andyan ang mga pinsan ko to entertain and distract him. Either my cousins or his case studies ang pinagkakabusyhan niya.

This isn't me at all, I always confront things ahead but whenever he's involve hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko. I have a plan in my mind before he arrives here and all of it went to drain.

But now, we need to talk bago pa bumalik si Lola and start noticing something.

I started my run extra early today and after an hour, as usual there's a certain spot I love here that I always visits –the last stop in my morning run. Its right after the Amrose Garden we have here in the vicinity of our mansion, a hidden viewing deck that overlooks the horizon—the vast ocean and the crack of the dawn.

I love mornings, there's a certain allure to wake up and find the world in silence, right before people confront their realities.

Silence, I needed it now more than anything else in this world right at this moment only to be disturbed by him. Alejandro.

I heard him cleared his throat. Alam ko naman kailangan namin mag-usap pero ba't naman kailangan talaga ngayong umaga kung saan nilalasap ko pa ang katahimikan ng mundo.

I deeply sighed, I guess it has to be now. I turn to face him who silently placed himself next to me giving me his side profile to look at.

Damn! I felt my stomach flipped, why does he have to be this beautiful? I felt my stomach flipped at lahat ng balak kong sabihin nakalimutan ko na. I sighed again at dahil doon napatingin siya sa akin.

He smiled at me graciously making my heart sommersault. Ibinalik ko na lang ang tingin ko sa paparating na bukang liwayway.

"I'm sorry" he said softly. "I aspired to be a lawyer yet I judged you hastily without really knowing who you are"

I remained silent. I kinda expect an apology at the same time not because I expected more reasoning from him to give justice to his prejudice of me yet here he is, apologizing, admitting his mistake.

He didn't even asked paano ko nalaman na ang tingin niya sa akin ay spoiled rich kid.

"I'm sorry, what a beautiful start should it be yet I somehow ruined it" He apologized again. "I was young back then when I found out I am in an arranged marriage, I was robbed of my freedom but then I forgot you were just a child too"

"But I'm not anymore now, Alejandro" I slowly turn sideways to face him.

He's still looking at the daybreak. "I know, yet I remember the child back then who accept it so cooly, you pissed me off like our situation didn't bother you at all."

He continued when I refused to answer him"We are both dragged into this and as much as we want to defy them we can't, no—"

"I can" cutting him off. I didn't want to defy dahil kung gusto ko simula pa lang ay ginawa ko na sana but my young heart back then was mesmerized by you that she's willing to give it a chance.

Yes, there are days that my mind will linger to that young man who broodingly approached me and left me in awe. I even started scribbling his name from time to time.

"I will do it, I wanted to be mad at you for thinking the worst of me but then it wasn't the first time I heard of it. I'm just disappointed because I think highly of you--" there, that's the Hera I know, who's always honest and straight forward. "--the reason of my somehow childlike attitude and I'm sorry about that" ngiwi ko rin sabi.