prologue

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"Our love was condensed into two things: one was you trying to hand me the world and the other was me pretending not to want it. Why? It was your smile, and the way you tried to hold your hands over my head to keep me sheltered from the rain. It was that time when you called me at three forty eight am to tell me you missed the slope of my neck whenever I leaned down to kiss you. It was that moment when our fingers first touched and felt the ground shift beneath me and I was kinda worried that I would fall and screw up but it was just me shivering because holding your hand was defying the laws of thermodynamics. I felt freezing all over, but somehow it felt like I was laying in my funeral pyre. It was the way you basically told my mother that you wanted me up until beyond the afterlife when you finally met her. I wanted you because of this. But you unraveled me. You peeled away layers I didn't know I had. I did not know whether this was a good thing because you were a good person and I wasn't. I just wasn't. You knew this fact, but still you took me into your arms and laughed into my ear. You knew this fact yet you still stayed and that scared me."

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