Once Upon A Time (l.s.)

9th May, 2011

You stinking son of a mother-fucker, how dare you, how could you stoop so low Styles? Target me, torment me, hurt me all you want, but why are you isolating me? Why are you making sure I have no one to help me survive? Why are you so intent on ruining me, crushing my personality, my happiness, my existence? What have I ever done to you, what have I done to deserve this? My only fault is that I am gay and in love with my best friend. Yes, even after what you have done, I still love you and you are still my best friend, that is why I am talking to you, writing here considering that its you. I know, I know I don't deserve friends and smiles and laughs and happiness, but why are you stealing my chances at it? Harry, Hazza, Haz, why? You don't know how much I want to stop feeling this way. I don't want to feel about you or about boys like that. Everyday I wake up and promise to myself that I won't think about you and keep a straight face when you walk by but merely listening to your voice makes my tummy flutter. Every night, I try to get myself interested by watching a man and a woman go at it but I can't, it makes me cry. I am abnormal, I am disabled, I am useless. You made me feel so guilty for what happen, if it weren't for me, none of this would be happening right now. 

So, Harry, I am so sorry for ruining everything.

A piece of trash

L