sunday, 11th of april, 2021
her eyes are so beautiful. they're a strange shade of green, but they sparkle and take up a whole new beautiful colour when the sun shines. they remind me of a forest. she's so naturally beautiful. her skin is clear, her hair is a dirty blonde shade with soft curls, and her smile... it's the most ethereal thing a person could ever see. of course, i'm only her best friend... but i wonder what it would be like to really hold her hands in mine.
sure, we hold hands often. but it just doesn't mean anything. it's a sign of friendship ; we hug and kiss each others cheeks, too. it doesn't matter to her, but every moment we touch is so memorable to me. i love listening to her voice. i love her little laugh.
i don't think i have feelings for her... i just want to see what having her as mine would feel like. would i have feelings, then ?
she told me she had feelings for me before and it completely rocked my world. she never left my mind for a month after that. i catch myself looking for her when we're in the hallways... she doesn't have many classes with me, but when she does, i find myself glancing at her. she catches my eye and raises her eyebrows or winks. it makes me smile. she's so cute.
sometimes, i just cant keep my hands away from her ( ugh, that sounds perverted ). i always play with her hair or take her hands, but she doesn't seem to mind. i'm a very... clingy person, around friends. it's a physical type of clingy, though. i just like to be able to hold onto someone. it's comforting.
i can't wait to see her tomorrow. it's been four months. school was shut, due to the pandemic.
i wonder if she's changed much, or even grown a few inches.
i hope not. i like patting her head :(
