Don't Tell My Brother

Chapter 59 - The L Word

Damien called him. When Lucas was laying on his bed, teeth brushed, Accutane taken, and admittedly waiting for his phone to ring. He'd managed to resist texting Damien, comforted by the knowledge that if he wanted to, Damien would respond. It also helped that his weekend had left him with mountains of unfinished work and study, which kept him busy enough that he didn't feel the need to compulsively check his phone. If he did enough menial work, printed each essay letter by letter, he wouldn't have to think about what might be happening at Damien's home. What his parents might be saying.

It was the first thing he asked about. "How were they?"

"My parents? Oh, they were mad. So, so mad. 'Why didn't you call', 'thought you'd died', 'don't you ever do that again', all that. I might be a little bit grounded, actually. Don't worry," he continued, as if he could hear Lucas' answering frown over the phone, "it doesn't mean anything. My window doesn't lock properly, so I can just sneak out and then climb back in."

Lucas decided against telling him how much of a safety hazard that was (although really, a bedroom window that could let anyone in could lead to all kinds of danger). There were more pressing questions.

"That's not so bad, is it?" In the worst case scenario, the scenario Lucas' mind always jumped to, it would provide Damien escape if things got too unbearable at home. "How do they feel about...bisexuality?"

That, he realised too late, was a terrible way to phrase it. But although he cringed at his own emotional illiteracy, Damien only laughed. The sound was warm, a little rough with what was probably exhaustion.

"They need time. It's new for them. I don't think either of them thought it'd be one of their kids, y'know? Like being gay, or bi, or whatever was something they heard about on the news or with other people's kids, but would never involve them? Does that make sense?"

Lucas nodded, even though Damien couldn't see it. "Yes, it does. They didn't expect it, and don't understand it?"

"Yeah, sorta like that. Pa just seems so confused. He's got a very clear idea of what men who like men are like, from TV or shitty stereotypes, and every time he looks at me it's like he's trying to fit these two pictures together."

Two pictures: Damien, Dominic's son, who was tall and strong and captain of the football team, and however Damien's father thought gay people behaved. Lucas had some idea of what that picture was: small and feminine, with a loud, high-pitched voice, the kind of gay best friend you'd see in some bad-taste 80s sit-com. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with being small, or feminine, or speaking with a different tone, but Lucas was pretty sure he knew what men like Damien's father thought of them.

"If it ever gets really bad, you can come here again. Mom and Dad won't mind." Well, Lucas thought, they wouldn't mind if he convinced them. A good PowerPoint, maybe some crying...he'd work on it.

"Thanks, tesoro, but I'll be okay. They're trying, at least." There was an undercurrent of hurt in Damien's voice, something a little forlorn, lost. "They're trying. It'll be okay." He said again, a brave attempt to sound positive about it that almost, but not quite, worked. "And I don't think I can leave again, not for a while," he hurried on, "because Gabe started crying as soon as he saw me walk in and wouldn't let go of me until dinner. I sort of promised him I wasn't going anywhere."

This brought a smile to Lucas' face, the image of Damien's chubby baby brother, clutching onto his leg like he'd done the first and only time Lucas had visited, refusing to let go. He shifted slightly, rolling over onto his side so he faced the phone completely. Like he was laying beside Damien. He wished he could've given him a hug.

"So," Damien said after a moment, sounding ever so slightly uncomfortable, "you probably want to talk about the 'love you' thing?"

Probably? Lucas definitely wanted to talk about that. The only way to resolve issues like this, he decided, was to be straightforward. He'd read in an online magazine that communication was the key to a successful relationship, so that was what they were going to do.