𝙄𝙆𝙄𝙂𝘼𝙄, haikyuu!!

𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚, not a monster

【 trigger warnings | some cursing, angst, mentions of bullying 】

published | 3rd April 2020
edited | 4th May 2021

it was night, the day was finally ending. most of the players were tired and had went to the dorms to sleep, whilst others had stayed at the cafeteria to just chat with one another.

hinata on the other hand just wanted to take a breather. he isn't oblivious, nor is he dumb, he has noticed. he sees how they look at him, he knows they feel something more than friends, he does, but he doesn't want to deal with any romantic situations at the moment.

those who noticed hinata's sudden movement decided to follow him, yes, they were getting slightly overhand by wanting to follow him, but they were curious.

the hinata that they know would be talking around rather than isolating oneself.

once again, hinata isn't dumb, he knows that they're following him. though, he is quite tired, and he just wanted to take a walk.

as he walked under the moonlight, he dropped his happy and cheery facade and put on his tired one. he was truly tired, not physically, but mentally. he stopped his tracks when he notices a certain red-head leaning upon the school's wall just staring at the moon. hinata puts back on his facade and looked at the senior with a smile.

"tendou-senpai!"

the senior looked at him, a glimpse of sadness was in his eyes before it was washed away with a bright smile. "hinata~" he cooed.

hinata walked up to tendou and leaned upon the wall with him "what are you doing here senpai?" he questions as tendou chuckled slightly "just... thinking some things, what about you?"

"taking a walk"

tendou looked at him, nodding slightly. the male stood there, observing hinata slightly, something about that tone, that sentence just seemed, different to him. "i see..." it was silent.

it wasn't those awkward silent moments, it was comfortable silence "what you did for kageyama in the court this afternoon was admirable" tendou says. hinata had almost dropped his facade hearing that sentence.

the ginger looked at him with a smile "well, he's my teammate, and doing something like that is what anyone should've done" he grins making tendou chuckled. "i see, you're really something huh" he teased as hinata laughed softly with him.

after an exchange of slight laughter, it was quiet again. there were thoughts clouding upon tendou's mind whilst hinata was hoping that the others who were watching him heard the sentence he gave.

"say hinata," the ginger hummed in response, looking at tendou "as much of a random question this is, do you... did you think of me as a monster?"

tendou is an over thinker, he is a worrier. after what had happened in his childhood, he started caring what others thought of him. ushijima had lifted off the slight burden from his shoulder when knowing that he doesn't think of him as a monster, but it doesn't say for the rest of his team.

people criticised him. for the way that he looks, for the way that he plays, for every single thing that he does, people criticise him, people single him out.

he wants to say that he is used to it, he puts it in his mindset that he should be used to it, but it still hurts him. having those look down upon him because of his appearance, because of his attitude, because of every thing about him makes him feel insecure about himself further.

after seeing, after listening to what hinata had told his teammate, he wanted to know. tendou wanted to know his opinion on him. even if it would hurt him. kageyama is someone who had suffered from the past, and tendou is one too.

but, tendou can guess, he can guess that after what hinata said today, kageyama finally let go of the past. tendou wanted to do that too. that's why he asked.

hinata knew what was happening, and he was tired. what he is about to say isn't wrong nor fake in his opinion.

but he knows that he had unintentionally made a persona of himself towards everyone. a persona that people find their hopes to. a persona that people think is perfect. he's tired of this. so very tired.

"nope" that single word made any doubts from tendou's mind disappear. "i found you scary at first, yes, but it went away after a while. you're no monster, you're tendou, a normal person" he looked at tendou and gave him a bright smile.

"i don't know what happened in the past, but i can safely assume you're stuck in it. i know its hard to move on, especially if it's a traumatic situation, but you have to try and leave that past. put it behind you and look onto the present and future. you're surrounded by amazing people tendou-senpai, and i'm sure that they would agree with me that you are not a monster"

tendou's heart fluttered, his cheeks went red as he looked at hinata. he truly felt as if all the thoughts, all his worry, everything disappeared from that speech alone.

"i see... you're a very nice person. the people surrounding you are very lucky" he says as hinata laughed.

"why thank you, i think of myself as the happy charger around others" he joked, before he stood properly and dust off his back.

"i think i'll head to bed now, it was nice talking to you tendou, and remember, in my eyes, you are not a monster" he says before leaving.

tendou was red. he realised it by then that he was in love. he had feelings for the tangerine. he fell hard for him and tendou doesn't know what to do with it.

those who had followed hinata looked at him in awe and in love. they knew that hinata was truly one of a kind. yet they also felt jealousy from it.

they shrugged it off, knowing that they're most likely overstepping their boundaries by getting jealous over comfort. either way, they shook their heads and head off back into the school, getting tired as well.

'i shouldn't be jealous over this. hinata meant it out of kindness. his smile and happiness is way more important than my jealousy. calm yourself down, idiot' they all think to themselves.

【 the end of chapter five ! 】

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚

sheeeshhhh- it's almost been like 1 month? maybe more since i had last updated.

writers block had hit me HARD and i was honestly loosing all my hope since school had started for me, aGaIn. though, after this week's examination we're going to have a holiday break, then going back to online school.

so then i can finally update like normal again. uhhhh ya'll better not get mad at me for making hinata like a mentally tired bitch-

i've said it in the previous authors note (if ya'll bothered to read them, because i know that i won't) that hinata isn't oblivious shawty.

imagine the BURDEN ya'll would feel if this happened to you when all ya'll are trying to pass high school or even stay alive rn-

my proofreaders, yuna, is honestly the best, as well as esme. they both liked the comfort part, i hope ya'll did too, i tried my best shawty, i really did 😃

anyway, hope ya'll enjoyed the update. don't forget to eat, rest, drink and take care of yourselves.

— ely