july 21st, 2019
Billie was sitting at a table in the middle of a park where Liah said she would meet her at. She had a small bag of her stuff sat beside her, her leg rubbing up against it as she bounced it up and down.
"Hey, i'm sorry i had to get Fish out from a tree." She sat down in front of her and looked down at her leg seeing a scratch from where she slipped and fell.
"What did you want me for?"
"I wanna talk first... i wanna hear your voice in person and not just on the phone." She gave her a small smile and saw her face give no expression at all. "You don't have to say anything. I just thought that maybe you wouldn't have given up on us so fast."
"You slept with your best friend." She said blankly and just looked at her, knowing it was too early for her alone to be having this conversation.
"I didn't sleep with her!" Skylar told me she kissed me and nothing happened after that, and if something did happen it wasn't with me. I almost never drink and you know that-"
"And you know i hate people who drink in general. Skylar kissing you doesn't bother me as much as you leaving for a party, somewhere where I didn't know you were, and got drunk." She scoffed and stood up. "Can we have this conversation later?"
"You mean over the phone? Where you can say whatever, and not feel bad cause you can't see me? Is that what you want?" Liah stood up with her, having both of her hands directly on the top of the wooden table.
"If it makes you stop bringing this conversation up then yeah i am." Billie went to pick her duffle bag of stuff up when Liah spoke up again.
"I went to Maine." She saw Billie look at her confused. "I went to Maine after you broke up with me... cause i run away from things."
"And why are you telling me, exactly?" She furrowed her brows and sat back down, watching Liah slowly lower herself in the same spot she was in.
"Because I run away from things. I want you to know I'm not running away from you this time. You can distance yourself from me but i am always gonna be here. In your head, in your text's, in your photos." She was starting to get ballsy and she bit her lip trying to focus on what she was saying.
Billie watched her talk and just let her talk till she eventually would stop to take a breath. Every chance she thought she had to talk Liah kept talking which was surprising to her. Liah explained exactly why she went to Maine, other than Billie breaking up with her. She started to talk faster than she was before, a sign she was losing her momentum, a way Billie could leave this time.
"Hey Liah?" Billie intervened, cutting her off.
"What?" She looked up from her hands that were shaking, her nerves starting to take over.
"What was the point of this? I kinda really have to go here soon." She looked at the time on her phone seeing messages from her mom and her brother saying to hurry up.
"It's not something that I can rush, but i'm trying okay..." Her voice was soft which made Billie sigh and turn her phone on its face, making her focus on Liah.
"You have five minutes and that's all. Not a minute more or a minute less."
"I can work with that. I hope." She got flustered and started to stumble around her words. "I told you that i thought i could love you."
"What a way to rip the bandaid off that wound." Billie shook her head and licked her lips, already not liking the conversation even more than before.
"Let me finish damnit." She raised her voice a bit, making the small birds around them scatter into the trees. "I told you I thought, not that I didn't. I spent two years of my life wondering what you were doing, or what song you were writing. I spent those two years finding myself wanting to just touch you and hear your voice, and now that i have it... i don't want to let it go." She messed with her hands and looked down at them shaking, and picked the nail polish off her nails.
"What's your point?" Billie kicked the side of her leg gently putting her back on focus, also making her look up from her hands.
"My point is-"
"Billie! We need to go now. We can't wait any longer!" Maggie yelled from the car she was now standing out of looking at the two of them.
"Liah?" Billie looked from her mom to her and saw her still looking at Maggie. She heard her sigh and then she stood up from where she was.
"Go... I can't do it, it's rushed and he told me it can't be rushed." She waved faintly at Maggie and saw her wave back. "How long are you leaving for?"
"A week. Can it wait till then?" Billie stood up grabbing her duffle bag and slung it over her shoulder.
"I guess, yeah."
Billie nodded and gave her an awkward goodbye wave not knowing if it would have been suitable to hug her. Liah watched her walk away and cursed herself out running her hands through her hair. Billie was halfway across the grass when liah got an inch of confidence in her and went after her. She tried running but Billie's long strides to get to the car was still a large gap she had to close.
"I love you Billie!" She yelled making Billie stop, looking back at her. "I don't think i love you. I know I love you, stop taking my feelings for granted, cause they're the only thing i'm sure of."
"You love me?" Billie faced her whole body to her and looked at her, not sure she heard her correctly.
"I love you."
YOU ARE READING
I love you. || Rewriting
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