Fifty Shades of Elvis

Chapter 2

Elvis and Charlie entered the mall, and went straight to the food court. Charlie ordered a cheeseburger while Elvis ordered a taco with a side of sliced jalapenos. They sat down. Charlie then noticed somebody familiar. "Anna Banana?" said Charlie. "I already told you this, I'm a fucking Kiwii," said Anna. "What are you doing here?" said Charlie. "Well, you see, I got hungry," said Anna. "Ah," said Charlie. "Well, I got to go now. Bye!" said Anna. "Bye Anna Banana," said Charlie. "I'M A MOTHER FUCKING KIWII!" said Anna. Anna then grabbed Grimms Fairy Tales and hit Charlie in the head several times. "Ow!" said Charlie. Anna then ran out of the mall. "Who the hell is that?" asked Elvis. "Anna, an old friend of mine," said Charlie. "Okay," said Elvis. They then ate, and had a very nice conversation about what they liked and didn't like. It was almost like they shared a mind. They were deeply in love with one another. They were about to kiss, but suddenly they were interrupted by very loud yelling. Charlie then saw Colin, another one of his old friends. He was yelling at a muslim dildo. "FUCK YOU MUSLIM DILDO! YOU DIDN'T GO DEEP ENOUGH! IT SAID IT REACHES 5 INCHES, BUT NO. IT WENT 4.8 INCHES! I DIN'T FEEL IT IN MY VAGINA! YOU BULLSHITTED ME!" said Colin. Security Guards then slammed Colin to the ground, and kicked him out of the mall for public disturbance. "Well, that escalated quickly," said Charlie. "Yeah. Also, do you seriously know that sociopath?" said Elvis. "Unfortunately, yes. We were even best friends growing up," said Charlie. "Wow," said Elvis. Despite that matter, there date continued normally, somewhat. "So, I grew up in Conneticut all of my life. I have a sist.." said Charlie. Charlie was suddenly interrupted by loud running, as of a crowd would sound. He then saw Colin, naked, running away from cops. "FUCK YOU COPS! I AM A FUCKING CORNMUFFIN AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT! MOVE THOSE STUBBY LEGS OF YOURS AND CATCH ME YOU LITTLE BITCHES!" yelled Colin. Colin then tripped on a muslim dildo, and was tasered, then thrown into a police car. "So, uh, anyways, I have a question," said Elvis. "What is it?" said Charlie. "Will you be my boyfriend?" asked Elvis. "Oh my god! Yes! Yes Yes Yes!" said Charlie. "Okay! Text you later," said Elvis. "Bye!" said Charlie, happier than he could ever imagine himself to possibly be. Elvis then happily ran to his car. This day was perfect for Elvis. The best day of his life, perhaps. His true love was finally his boyfriend! This was so exciting for Elvis! He went home, and Charlie and Elvis texted until Charlie passed out. Elvis then grabbed a picture of Charlie, and gently rubbed it. "Goodnight, my love," said Elvis as he drifted off to sleep.