Opposite Force

Chapter Twenty-One

Mikaela Martin | Present

The next month flies by in what I can only classify as a blur of happiness. Each day that passes, I fall more and more head-over-heels for Peyton. He's sweet and kind and funny and charming and brilliant. We work on college applications together, half of which are for the same schools. Neither of us comes from a lot of money, so we both figure state schools are the way to go. I had been planning that long before Peyton, but being with him really solidifies my choice.

I wish I could say things are perfect, but they aren't. They're perfect between Peyton and me; that's for sure. But when it comes to my friends...

I haven't spoken to Liam since formal. I still don't know if I even want to. I'm not angry because he confessed his feelings for me, even though he couldn't have picked a worse time. I'm upset because I can't unhear the cruel things he said, especially his insinuation that Peyton only wants to be with me for my appearance. He made me feel like there's nothing else redeeming about myself. Why else would Peyton like me if I didn't get hot? Can't be my personality or brains. Oh, no. Must be because I finally grew boobs last year.

I miss Liam, but I don't miss this Liam. Not the Liam who makes me feel like that.

Annalise apologized a million and a half times for letting slip about my anxiety in front of Peyton. I got over that pretty quickly. It was an honest mistake. She assumed I'd told him already. I probably should have anyway.

But I can't forget the way she said it. Like anxiety is something the people around me have to put up with for a couple days. Forget the fact that I spend half my life in fight-or-flight mode or that it makes me sick or that my own brain tries to sabotage me on a daily basis. No, my anxiety is an inconvenience for Annalise. For Peyton. For everyone.

I should talk to her about it, let her know how badly she hurt my feelings, but I'm too anxious. The irony.

So, I'm in a weird situation. I never wanted to be one of those people who gives up their friends when they start going out with someone. To give myself credit, I've been spending a lot of time with Sarah and even Annalise still, but I'm hanging out with Peyton a whole lot more than them. Two out of my three best friends make me feel incredibly disregarded, and Peyton doesn't, so I feel like it's a reasonable choice.

I don't know. My head is all over the place, but it's happy when I'm with Peyton. And Sarah. And sometimes Annalise.

"Earth to Mikaela!"

I blink at the sight of Annalise's hand waving in front of my face. "I'm here, I'm here," I mutter.

"Whatcha thinking about?" she asks.

You. Peyton. Anxiety. Liam. The usual. "Uh..."

"Thinking about how Mrs. Painful decided to read your answer to the class again?" Peyton teases.

I groan. "It wasn't even a good answer. I think she just has it out for me."

Peyton and Annalise exchange a glance. "It was a good answer," they say at the same time.

I chuck my Reese's wrapper at Annalise. "You aren't even in our class," I remind her.

"I don't have to be. Mikaela Martin has never once written a bad answer," she replies smugly.

"That's not true," I protest. "I got an eighty on the grammar quiz in Mr. Quentin's class last week."

"That was the highest grade in the class, you jerk," she grumbles, throwing the wrapper back at me. "That quiz was impossible. I got a C, and I'm usually good at English."