Mikaela Martin | Present
We barely make it to the couch when we're inside Peyton's house. We tangle together, kissing furiously, deeper than we ever have before. As I'm wrapped around him, I wonder if he's feeling the same as me. Because something is different tonight. Good different.
"Peyton," I whisper, pulling away.
"Mikaela." His voice is deep and raspy and so, so perfect.
"What time is the show over?"
He scrunches his brows. Normally I'd be worried that I hurt his feelings, that he thinks I'm not excited, but I'm about to clear all that up. "It's an hour, so nine."
I force my eyes to hold his while I ask. "Can we come back here after? I want..." Deep breath in, deep breath out. "I want to be together."
His brows are still furrowed. I'm going to need to explain.
"I want to have sex," I blurt out. My cheeks immediately burn up. I can't believe I just yelled that I want to have sex. At my boyfriend. On my birthday when he's already doing so many nice—
Peyton cuts off my spiraling thoughts with a kiss. A soft, sweet one. "Really?" he murmurs. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Positive." He doesn't immediately respond, which sends my brain into a panic. "If you don't want to, we don't have to. I just... I'm ready. When you want to."
"No, I want to," he says softly. His lips curl into the cutest smile. "I really want to. Awesome. Okay. Let's have dinner and see some stars, and then we'll come back here, and you can change your mind if you want. Obviously. I don't have to tell you that."
"I know," I reply. "Sounds good."
And so that's what we do. Peyton drives us to a vegan place offering ten different kinds of veggie burgers. I order black bean. He goes with a type that allegedly tastes just like meat. Throughout dinner, our conversation flows like we didn't just talk about sleeping together for the first time, and then we kiss in the planetarium parking lot for a half hour before the show starts.
The show is incredible. Reading about astronomy, which I do a lot, is one thing. Watching documentaries is another. Seeing depictions directly overhead is, to borrow Peyton's signature word, a new level of awesome.
The domed ceiling comes alive with brilliant faux stars while an astronomy expert talks about how galaxies are formed. I'm mesmerized. Tiny lights converge together to form colorful depictions of the different types of galaxies, and then we zoom in on a spiral one, all the way to a mini Earth.
"Whoa," Peyton breathes when the lights finally come on.
I'm speechless, but I think my smile says it all.
"So I did a pretty okay job with the birthday, right?" he teases as we walk, hands intertwined, through the parking lot. "Worth the surprise?"
"So worth it," I sigh.
"Awesome. You still want to come over? We can do whatever you want."
It's shocking how cautious he is. Sean jumped into everything, but Peyton doesn't want anything to happen unless I'm the one who asks for it, unless he's completely certain that it's my choice, one he hasn't affected. Maybe that's why I feel ready sooner with Peyton than I did with Sean. I know that I'm safe with Peyton, that he would never hurt me the way Sean did.
"I haven't changed my mind," I tell him. I really don't think he would have changed his, considering he's a guy, but maybe that's just a stereotype or he isn't in the mood. Does that happen to people our age? "Did you?" I add.
YOU ARE READING
Opposite Force
Romance"He's a breath of fresh air. The happiness to my sadness. The calm to my anxiety. He's an equal and opposite force, blocking me from the course of self-hatred I've been hurdling down my entire life." ◊ ◊ ◊ Mikaela Martin is almost certain quarterbac...