How We Pay

Chapter Three

I walked into the unfamiliar house behind Matt and Kate. They were holding hands and saying hi to everyone they knew. I couldn't believe Kate had actually gotten me to come to a house party. Socializing was a special kind of Hell to me lately. I followed closely behind them with my head down, trying to just get through this night as fast as possible and with as little social interaction as possible.

We found open spaces in the kitchen to lean on the counter. I stood in front of them, taking the beer Matt handed me with no intention of drinking it. I took a few, very small sips to make them happy. I didn't want to seem as miserable as I actually was. We made small talk about who everyone was and they introduced me to a few people. Everyone was nice, but I was definitely out of place.

I felt like I was a giant black cloud in the middle of the party. Everyone else had to feel it like I did. I wasn't trying to be the weird kid that everyone stayed away from, I just was. Kate was the designated bartender for the first hour, making everyone drinks and encouraging others to do shots with her. I looked at Matt and he just shook his head at me. Kate was going to be plastered. We shared a smile at the thought.

"Oh! Heidi! You have to meet Matt's friend Zack!" She pulled some guys arm, the kitchen now substantially more crowded than it was when we first got here. The guy turned around, giving Matt and bro-hug and a friendly hug to Kate.

"Zack, this is Heidi." The guy looked at me and his face lit up realizing why Kate pulled him out of his conversation and into ours. He smiled at me and I shook his hand.

"Hey." He said. He was surprisingly cute. He had short brown hair and was a few inches taller than me. He had amber eyes and chiseled features. He looked about my age and just as much a Kansas boy as Matt.

"Hi." I gave me a lips pressed smile. "Sorry, Kate's a little.." I made a drinking motion with my hand. He laughed.

"I see that." We stood there, silent and awkward. Matt and Kate were whispering and laughing to each other and I tried to scream at them with my eyes to say something to make this less uncomfortable.

"Wanna go get some air?" He asked me. I wanted to go outside and take a few hits from my e-cig but didn't want to give this guy the wrong impression. I was more than just unavailable. I was completely off limits, and not just by Stefan's standards, but mine. I got shoved up against him as someone reached in the fridge behind me and started yelling that everyone take a shot. I knew if I was here, Kate would force my hand so I chose the lesser of two evils.

"Yes, please." I said. Kate made a 'Ooooh' noise as we walked towards the front door. I flipped her off and she just smiled and blew me a kiss. When we got outside, I fished out my e-cig and took a hit. Matt pulled one out of his pocket and we both chuckled.

"So, are you from around here?" He asked, blowing smoke out. I felt my cheeks heat with the question. It was a simple question for anyone other than me, but for me, that was a dead end for someone.

"Nope." Is all I said. I tried to give him a friendly smile but just managed to press my lips together again. He looked at me and shrugged off my short response.

"How do you know Kate and Matt?" He asked another question, trying to get a conversation going. I hated being so rude but I really didn't have a lot of details I could dispense.

"I just live with Kate." I looked away, squeezing my fist together. I hated awkward situations and this was becoming one of the worst. It was loud inside but too quiet out here. The guy was nice enough, but I wasn't interested in small talk with anyone. I heard him let out a breath and I turned to him. He was looking down, shaking his head.

"Ok, well, I'm gonna go back inside. It was nice meeting you." He went to turn and I felt so guilty. I grabbed his elbow and gave him an apologetic look.