TW: attempted... dieing, cussing, panic and anxiety attacks, mentions of transphbia and homophobia, along with mentions of a stroke and accedently misgendering and dead naming someone.
So my day was shit.
This morning my locker wouldn't open, so after fifty tries and a mini anxiety attack I told a teacher and she opened it on thE FIRST FUCKING TRY!
So skip to lunch and I'm trying to put my Science shit in my locker so I can go and eat because I was a hungry bitch.
But guess what?
MY LOCKER WOULDN'T OPEN.
So I thought, "fuck it" and went off to lunch with my Science things.
After lunch I tried again and it wouldn't work.
After Enrichment I went to try again, and IT STILL WOULDN'T WORK!
So I missed about twenty minutes of Band on trying to open my locker and having a panic attack in the bathroom. (*Michael in the Bathroom plays in the distance*)
I honestly thought about skipping Band and staying in the bathroom to read or something. (He wouldn't have noticed since I 1., sit in the back, and 2., I wasn't there for his class yesterday.)
But I didn't.
I wish I did.
I went to Band and I'm glad he isn't one of those teachers that ask where you were because I would have started crying or screaming.
During Band I started thinking about how I wanted to die and started holding my breath so I COULD die.
I wasn't very good at it.
So I instead took the neck strap for my saxophone and started choking myself.
I did stop because it was my turn to play though.
So after band I walked up to my friend and asked her if she wanted twenty dollars, and her being a broke bitch, (Yes, she actually calls herself that.) said yes.
So I said if she unlocked my locker and stabbed me she could have it. (Since my money was in my backpack.)
She said no.
So I asked my other friend and guess what?
I'VE BEEN MISGENDERING THEM TOO!
THEY'RE NON-BINARY BUT I DIDN'T KNOW SO I'VE BEEN CALLING THEM SHE/HER AND I USED THEIR DEAD NAME.
(I can't really blame myself though, since they did forget to tell me.)
But I still feel bad about it.
NOT ONLY THAT BUT THEY GOT MY LOCKER OPEN!
They didn't stab me or want the money though.
So after kicking my locker and yelling at it to fuck off I fucking RAN to the line for my bus line and thank fucking God I did, because right after I got in line my bus came.
I don't want to go tomorrow.
I also don't want to do the stretches I have to do for the way I walk but then my grandpa would think he's right!
Fuck you Dan, I hope you choke on spaghetti. (He's probably gonna see this the next time my mom and grandma go through my phone, but I don't give a fuck.)
BUT YEAH, THANKS FOR SAYING I WON'T DO ANYTHING!
SAYS THE GUY WHO'S ALWAYS SAYING HE'LL DO THINGS BUT DOESN'T EVEN START, NO WONDER YOU HAD A FUCKING STROKE, YOU'RE A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU TRANSPHOBIC HOMOPHOBE! I HOPE A TRANS GAY MAN IS THE PRIEST AT YOUR FUNERAL. (And he's happily married with a daughter and a supportive big sister.)
But hey! It could be worse! I could have homewo- *sees the missing E-learning assignments I still haven't done* fuck.
