Shrekdon Hyde

The Lightbulb

#shrek #lightbulbs ((For later in the story, The Hamtaro Theme Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz7X0Cmmq38 ))

It all started when our adventuring....adventurer, London the Lightbulb, woke up in a swamp. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously frustrated, London the Lightbulb rubbed a dangerous oil-soaked rag on his face, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, he realized that his beloved lightbulb was missing! Immediately he called his favorite rape victim, Shrek. London the Lightbulb had known Shrek for (plus or minus) 69 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Shrek was unique. He was charismatic though sometimes a little... close. London the Lightbulb called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Shrek picked up to a very angry London the Lightbulb. Shrek calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks sneeze before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually wildly shudder after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting London the Lightbulb. Why was Shrek trying to distract London the Lightbulb? Because he had stolen London the Lightbulb's lightbulb only eight days prior. It was a flamboyant little lightbulb... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before London the Lightbulb got back to the subject at hand: his lightbulb. Shrek grimaced. Reluctantly, Shrek invited him over, assuring him they'd find the lightbulb. London the Lightbulb grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Shrek realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the lightbulb and he had to do it quick. He figured that if London the Lightbulb took the magic flying carpet, he had take at least three minutes before London the Lightbulb would get there. But if he took the Segway? Then Shrek would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Shrek was interrupted by four clueless ferrets that were lured by his lightbulb. Shrek grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling exasperated, he fearlessly reached for his live hand grenade and deftly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was London the Lightbulb.

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