HIIIII! 109 READERS NOW!! WOOOOOO!! GOD I LOVE MY LIFE. BUT ANYWHO I ADDED THIS PHOTO TO HELP YOU PICTURE THE SMALL TABLE A LITTLE. MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT, BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED IT...EXCEPT WITH LESS LIGHT AND A WINDOW BEHIND HAHAHA.
SO I THINK ILL BE POSTING A NEW PEICE EVERY 40 VEIWS I GET, SO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HELP ME OUT A LITTLE AND VOTE SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE YOUR RESPONSE TO MY STORY. MY PLAN IS TO RAISE IT BY 5 EVERY OTHER WRITING SO I CAN KEEP GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER! I TRIED PRETTY HARD ON THIS ONE.
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By now I was out and about. I drummed a little on the kitchen counter and cooked (more like microwaved) some rice, along with a heavy pouring of salt to top my masterpiece off. Then I set it on some platform (i think it was more like the floor) and sauntered to the dining room. Of course it was 2 rooms away from the kitchen...so I had to go shuffle my feet through the house. Sometimes I wonder about what it's like to do this with someone you love, but I always end up realizing that I'm 19 and I'm too young and immature to really hold onto a happy relationship. I also then realize the fact that when I wish I could cook with someone, I actually wish to just stare at a microwave for 30 seconds until the beeper goes off and have someone to cheer around with as I pick up the bowl and take the first bite of the hot food. Oh god, it's not too much to ask for right? Just a little applause for my food? I sit my butt down on one of the seats of my teensy dining table.
I start to remember that I think the idea of love is just the idea of selfishness and deep satisfaction. No matter how many stories I read, the only reason all these people do things for each other is because they want them. They want want want...and none of them share more than feelings and sex. Maybe I just don't understand...but love shouldn't even be in my best interest. I'd rather be a cat lady and "love" life than need a man to support all of my emotional states. My purpose in this world is going to be to help out people and improve their lives. I won't improve my own, because I don't need any improving. Not one piece of cake for a hungry hobo would match my current and lasting happiness on any kind of scale. I mean, I'm free, I have money in my pocket, i have the right education for my perfect dream job...I have everything I need! I don't need love. I may want it, but I'll never need it and I'm not selfish enough to support my stupid love cravings.
I reach my way to the dining room table and sit down. I take my time to eat, and with music still blasting through the walls, I was tapping a beat with my feet. You see, I don't worry about how many rows of floor boards I destroy through my continuous tapping. My parents basically bought the house for me and I like knowing that I was once a person, on a different day, doing some action that left a mark for my future self to see. Not to mention that I like things to look all beat up and used to...its 10 times more comfortable and warmer. Who else loves a grandmother recliner and dark, thick, red curtains against annoying windows? For sake, who doesn't love typewriters and the comforting sound they make? I'm too obsessed with feeling comfortable that I can't make myself give into people's manipulation tools and I can't let myself make my own problems. All I do with my life is think like some Greek philosopher trying to find out why my life is so easy to live with and how to keep it easy to live with. I will always manage to do something crazy at least once a week, but I'd never skydive if it meant me feeling like I was gonna die. I'd dance in the middle an airplane for fun, but I'd never punch an idiot in the face just because I was mad. That means I'm okay with being crazy or outgoing unless I know it'll affect me. I worry more about my future or past self more than the me now. The only reason my current life is good is because I managed to secure my future emotional states as far as I expect myself to. I know where to find money, I've written about myself just in case I get sad one day, I've written memories, I've done things some people are too scared or annoyed to do, I've managed to get most people on the side that'll get me places or keep me in a good state, and I do what I call are "selfless" things.
Although I'm weird, and although I don't always succeed in knowing my emotions and knowing how to show the right facial expression in most situations, I know I'm not a bad person and I know I tap my feet for a good reason. If you haven't forgot, I wouldn't need to remind you, but for those who have forgot, this whole paragraph was over the fact that I like tapping my feet and that whole paragraph is the reason why. It's pretty deep if you haven't noticed.
I take another mouthful of rice into my mouth, and I start wonder when the last time I've been to Target was. I'm in the mood to get quenched from some good ol' Starbucks. I need some Soymilk from there too for my future homemade coffee, not to mention some more batteries. You know what, I need a million things. I'll just borrow some money from my parents and go.
Let's wait till tomorrow though.
