Maybe I'm Home

I Won!?

It’s nearly time for the results of the contest.  There’s a first, second, and third place, each winning a sum of money.  First place results in a $1000 prize- that would be amazing.  Second place, $500, and third place is $250.  I would settle for any of those, but I know I’m not going to get them anyways.

I hear the speaker of the high school say, “All contestants, please enter backstage for results!  All onlookers, please re-enter the seating!”

I do as it says and go backstage.  Peeking out through the curtains, I see the audience filtering in.  And let me tell you, I am so excited.  I can’t believe I’m here in the first place, let alone about to hear the results of a competition for money in the thing I love most- art.  I fiddle with my pretty purple ring, taking a deep breath.  A couple competitors look my way.

“Good luck,” one says breathlessly.  

“Good luck,” I return.  I freeze as the announcer (Mr. Wills) heads onto stage, and says:

“I am so pleased to have so many talented young artists in this room right now.  I just want to say that every artist in the contest is brilliant, or they wouldn’t have gotten selected, but we have a few who are the best of the best waiting anxiously for the results.  So, I am overjoyed to announce the third place winner, Ms. Lexi Shaller!”

The audience applauds Lexi wildly.  The tan-skinned girl runs onto the stage, grinning, holding up her fall tree pottery.  It is really pretty, and I had admired it when she first showed it.  

The crowd quiets as Mr. Wills raises his microphone to his mouth again.  

“You did a wonderful job,” he tells her.  Lexi laughs.

“Thank you so much, I’m so happy to have been able to come here,” she replies.  

“Well, then, why don’t you stand here, Lexi?” Mr. Wills suggests.  Lexi goes to the side of the stage as Mr. Wills holds the microphone again.

“In second place, I am thrilled to announce that Mr. Pepper Lee has blown us all away!” He exclaims.  The kid who wished me good luck before jogs on, a huge grin on his face, raising his detailed drawing of a Halloween night into the air like some sort of athlete. 

“A splendid thing that drawing is,” Mr. Wills tells him.

“I’m so grateful, everyone did amazing,” Pepper says.  Mr. Wills smiles and motions for Pepper to stand next to Lexi.  He does so.  I can’t even believe my ears at what he says next.

“And, as for our first place winner, please welcome Ms. Arlen LaVeque!” He cries.  I sit there stunned for a moment.

Me?  I won?

A boy behind me shoves me forward and I quickly run over to Mr. Wills, who hands me my painting.  I gawk at him dumbly for a moment before my face breaks into a genuine smile.  He hands me the microphone.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I confess.  “I mean, ever since my family cast me out, I never thought I would be happy again, but… But now I have to take that back.  I am happy.  I never thought I could win, so thank you so, so much,” I say earnestly.  The audience- even, I notice, Valentina- claps for me.  I meant every word of what I just said, and they can tell.  That’s the best feeling in the world, being understood, and I feel like they finally get me.  Mr. Wills smiles at me, handing me a one thousand-dollar check.  I clutch it close to my heart as he hands the money that the other two earned to them.  Then, the three of us exit the stage, our grins apparent on our faces.  I run to the Attles, who have Emilie with them.  She gives me a huge hug, which is unlike her typical more distant personality, but I guess even she has to be happy sometimes.  Walter grins, saying, 

“You’re going to go far, kid,” over and over.  Anthea jumps up and down, while Raymond and Cole smile at me.  

Suddenly, someone approaches us from behind, and there she is again.  A black-haired, aroace jerk, by the name of Valentina.  I sigh.

“What is it?” We still aren’t on great terms, for obvious reasons, but she looks so honestly remorseful that I almost want to trust her.

Almost.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize,” she says.  “I know it seems out-of-the-blue, but hear me out.”

Raymond glares daggers at her.  Cole just stands awkwardly, unsure of what to do, while Anthea looks at the ground.  And I’m just kind of there, wondering what this is about.  Finally, I mutter, “Go on.”

She takes a shaky breath.  “I… Um… Well, I wanted to say sorry, because I was a real jerk to you about not ever settling in.  But, that was clearly groundless.  See, I was always mean to people… It was a good way to get rid of my own pain, and it really did help.”

Now I’m interested, if not a bit morbidly.  “Your own pain?” I question.  She grimaces.

“I was in foster care, too,” she confides.  “Since I was four.  I settled in here when I was ten, but since then I’ve always been mean to other foster care kids, for… Well, not being so lucky.”  I swear I’m about to explode with all this knowledge.  Here was Valentina, apologizing and confessing to knowing how I feel?  I must be dreaming, after winning.  I went crazy when I went on stage.  That must be it.  But as I pinch myself, I wince in pain.  Valentina laughs a bit.

“So, I know we’ll never be friends, but… Mutual respect?” She offers, hand outstretched.  I debate this for a moment.

Then, I reach my hand out to Valentina’s, shaking it firmly.  “Mutual respect,” I agree.  She smiles a bit and walks away, and I turn to the Attles (plus Cole and Emilie.)  “Well, that was decent,” I allow.  Raymond nods, mouth set in a thin line still, and Cole rolls his eyes at him and says, 

“Yes, that went well.”  Anthea nods happily and Walter and Emilie just look confused.

Then, we see Mrs. Rax, running towards me with a look of pure joy on her face.  “Oh, thank God you haven’t left yet!” She cries.  “I just wanted to congratulate you for doing so well, I knew you could do it.  I was praying for you the whole way, I tell you, and clearly God willed you to win.” I can’t help but be surprised that she was praying for me- an atheist- to win, but I’m not mad.  She’s not like my parents.  I simply smile at her and say,

“Thank you so much.”

“Right, then!” Walter exclaims.  “Let’s start heading back home.”  I think this is a good plan, and we all pack into the car.  Emilie says goodbye and hops into her own car, but before leaving, turns to Walter.

“You’re doing well,” she says softly.  “I’m glad we’ve found a good family for her to stay with.  Oh, and play ‘May We All’ by Florida Georgia Line, will you?  Celebratory favorite song, if you will.”  Then, she’s off in her brown SUV (I swear, this woman has no less than three cars that she’s driven while she’s been my social worker) and we are on our way back home.