Everything feels like its moving in slow motion. Time is almost nonexistent. Seeing people smile makes my stomach turn. How can people move on when the person I loved is gone. See? I'm already using past tense. Like their a distant memory. Grief is like a storm. Thunder, lightning, rain. The only thing i would wish for is for the sun to come back. Just like how I want them to come back.
Grief comes in different sizes and color. You can grieve relationships, love, a person that is no longer around. I grieve time. I gave people too much of my time. Yet their time with me was always cut short. I grieve relationships. the way I get swamped in the warmth of them. Only to have it ripped away from me.
Grieving connection. You become whole with people and slowly they rip themselves away from you. And you've gone so long with them by your side. you feat being alone. Now that its true. you lose hope. You lose clarity. You scream and scream, but its like no one can hear you. You cry until the tears won't come out anymore. you feel until you can't anymore. Then your just numb. Numb is still a feeling.
Grief is like being held hostage. Stuck in a cage while everyone continues. Grief takes your breath away. Your body feels on fire. You just stare. You stare at nothing for hours. Speaking very little words. Silence surrounds you, but the flashes of everything you've ever said to that person goes through your head. Playing like an old VCR tape. Their voice playing like a broken record. It never stops. You try to move on, but everyday feels like your stepping on nails. One scent, one photo, one song can send you back into the whirlpool of pain, regret, and love.
And you try over and over again. You get up everyday. You sleep in their clothes for months. Your heart cringes when their name is brought up. But then you wish for more sunny days. But at the same time you don't want that. Not without them. Because wishing for more sunny days means you can live without them. And in the moment you just can't. But eventually whether its months or even years. The pain in your heart will start to lesson and not feel painful. That song, that scent, that photo only sends a ping of hurt,but in the end...you feel more surrounded by love from when they were here rather than the hurt you were in when they weren't.
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Touch of Love
PoetryMini stories about heartache, grief, love. This book goes through all the hardships that most people don't like to talk about. This book can be uncomfortable because the human emotions are difficult to deal with. This book is to let people know that...
