I Run | BTS | JHope Fanfiction | Completed

Chapter 31

2 years later 

Amy sat on the floor, her back against the wall. Eyes tired and dry, her nose hurt. 

It was dark outside, and inside as well. A sliver of warm yellow light from the living room was painted on the bedroom floor.

Across her sat Hobi. One leg bent at knee and the other, flat on the floor. His head faced the ceiling with his eyes closed. 

Both sat quietly for many minutes, just their soft breaths could be heard in the silence.  

They were miserable. 

"I can't. I can't take this anymore," he said quietly. Amy looked at him. 

"I can't stand all the fighting and the yelling. I can't give you more explanations about Lia or my friends," said Hobi. His throat was dry and it hurt to speak.

"Then why should I give an explanation about Jimin? He was your friend first, mine later, " said Amy combing her hair backwards with her fingers.

"Hey, he was not a friend of mine, just an acquaintance," Hobi corrected her, "I don't want to think about him."

"And yet we always do," said Amy.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw where and how Amy sat opposite to him. Her untidy hair, crumpled body and how she wiped away a tear that escaped her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to work so that I could pursue music. You didn't have to give up your happiness for me. You should have pursued art," he mumbled.

Amy looked at him. "I did it for you; for us. I wanted you to be happy," she said.

"Are you happy?" He asked.

After  a moment of hesitance, she said, "I will keep myself happy."

"SEE! This is what I'm talking about! You are not happy! And watching you, I'm not happy. I can sense your regret in giving up art though you don't say it. I have become the whole purpose of your living and I don't like that! I want you to be you! Not my mother to take care of me all the time!!"

Amy stared at him after his outburst. 

"Hobi I.." Amy's voice cracked. More tears fell from her eyes.

"Amy, you have replaced me with your parents. I don't think you love me. You are just obsessed. You are just fulfilling an empty space created by your parents using me. That's all. That's all this is," he said as he gestured either of them. 

Amy listened in silence. Her head had started to hurt. 

"It was not supposed to be like this…" she mumbled. Hobi looked at her. 

"This time was supposed to be different. Everything was right. Nobody had died. And even then I'm back to square one," Amy spoke to herself ignoring Hobi's presence in the room. 

"What- what are you talking about?" asked a confused Hobi. Amy remained silent, crying quietly. 

Hobi stared at her for several minutes before he stood up. He walked to the bedroom door slowly.

But he turned at the last minute and said, "You do realize that whatever you did Amy, was for yourself? Not for me. None of it. Stop wearing yellow because I like it, wear it because you want to. Don't grow your hair because I asked you to. Grow it because you want to. Stop trying to please others for you and try to please yourself for once!"

"Can't we make this work? Can't we get through this?" She asked as she cried. 

Hobi wiped away a tear as his eyes brimmed. "Take care, Amy," he said before he left the room.

Numb. Amy felt numb. 

Her eyes were dry again. And though her throat was coarse, her head was throbbing and her body ached, she felt numb. She felt nothing.

It had happened all over again. She thought.

I spent almost two and a half years trying to fix this relationship. I tried to do everything right. I tried to agree with all his desires and wishes. Even then… why? Just why?

If I had to go through this again, and get the same result, why give me a chance at all?

She stood up slowly and walked into the bathroom. She wasn't thinking straight, but she felt determined. She looked around the bathroom and found the same sharp object as she had that one distant night. 

Without wasting any time, she painted her wrist with another fresh line of crimson. Like thick paint, it spilled on the bathroom floor. Wincing with pain, she lay inside the bathtub and closed her eyes. 

Then, she prayed, but a little differently. 

Dear god. Just end it. Just end it all. I don't have the energy to go through this again. Please save me. Please… 

Soon, she felt very little until eventually, she didn't feel anything at all… 

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Fellow 아미 여러분, the story is finally nearing its end. Let's meet at the close💜