Journals [Chaelisa]

chapter 2

Lisa must've spent about two whole class periods in the infirmary. It wasn't even like she was in there to waste time. She literally felt sick to her stomach with the thought of her biggest secret being exposed. If anyone found out about her feelings about Chaeyoung, she was a dead man walking. She wasn't really, but it sure did feel that way. No one even knew of her sexuality. Lisa didn't even know. All she knew was that Chaeyoung elicited feelings within her that she'd never felt.

She hunched over on the bed and brought her knees to her chest. She buried her face into her arms as the feeling washed over her again. She was actually shaking. Why did she have to write down her stupid feelings? Why did she even have those feelings? Why couldn't she just have a normal friendship like she did with the other girls? Why did she have to use Chaeyoung's name? Why couldn't she just keep it anonymous?

Lisa's head shot up from her knees. Wait. She was anonymous. She'd never once signed her name, simply because she wasn't very fond of her signature. She suddenly felt thankful for her messy script. With that in mind, she relaxed a little. She had messy handwriting. No one would be able to read it. Well, they could... But they would just have to try really hard. But it's not like anyone would want to read all of her ramblings about Chaeyoung anyway, right? She sure hoped so.

After thinking it over and realizing that the worst of her problems was that she'd simply lost her journal, she returned to normal. She'd somehow convinced herself that no one would read it, that it has just vanished. And she was alright with that. As long as no one knew, she was alright with it. Her headache dissipated and so did the feeling in her stomach. She even felt well enough to go ahead to lunch.

Lunch was Lisa's favorite time of the day. Partially because of the food, partially because all of her friends met there, but mostly because of Chaeyoung. She got to sit next to her and look at her when she wasn't paying attention. It was her favorite thing to do. She'd accepted how creepy she was a long time ago, so she stole her glances in stride.

When Lisa entered the cafeteria, Chaeyoung was the first to spot her. She smiled at Lisa and urged her to come over. It was the cheeky smile where she tilted her head and made her eyes all squinty, Lisa's personal favorite. A smile took over Lisa's features as she made her way over. All thoughts of her missing journal immediately vanished. It was impossible to be sad when Chaeyoung was near.

"Hey Lisa," Somi greeted her warmly. "Where were you in class? Did you skip?" she assumed, which caused the other three girls to burst into laughter.

Because Lisa skipping was a joke.

"I was in the nurse's office," Lisa answered.

"We have a nurse?" Jisoo questioned.

"No. Not really," Jennie answered. "It's just a room in the back of the office with a few beds and bandaids and stuff. We don't have a nurse."

"Yeah. But the beds are really comfortable. I go in there when I get cramps," Chaeyoung added.

"Me too," Somi nodded.

"Why am I just now hearing about this? Shoot, I could've been skipping all this time," Jisoo laughed.

"I don't see how you didn't know," Somi jested.

"Same," Chaeyoung laughed, then she turned to Lisa. "Oh yeah, Lili. I forgot to tell you. We were just talking about something weird that I found."

Lisa froze for a second. She wondered what Chaeyoung had found, desperately hoping that it was a lucky penny or something. She surpressed her apprehension about what she was going to disclose and just waited for her to continue.

"I found this cute little journal in the library," Chaeyoung started. She retrieved it from her bag and Lisa froze again.

Holy shit.