My sister and I have always had a good relationship, at least that is what I had been assuming all my life. She was older than me, almost two years. I remember we used to play barbie a lot when we were little. It was me and her against the world. Look at these two! Such cute little sisters, who could resist them? Cute, indeed. Until one of them decides to end the other one's life.
What is the most important is, how did I know it was her? How am I so sure? I mean as I said, everything had seemed to be fine, no? So why? Why did my sister kill me? To be honest, I hesitated with my accusation at first, but it really is that simple: My sister did not actually feel the same for me as I felt for her. She never did. Of course I was too naive to see, or maybe just too sane. What normal human accuses their own sister of being a psychotic devil? Not as many, I guess. The devil. What even is he? What is the devil? I can tell from my own experience that he is not waiting for us after we die. I have never seen him since. Still, he makes us anxious. The stories we hear about him frustrate us. We're scared he's going to steal our soul one day. Scared someone sells it to him one day. I'm not scared of him anymore. I now know that there is no such thing as a devil with red horns and a tail, with fiery eyes and teeth like a monster. But what I know, is that there are people that do have all these features. The only difference, is that you can't see them.
My sister was a case like that. She had all the features we claim the devil to have. Acting like things were alright, but wanting all for herself and knocking out what has gotten into her way. How devilish.
She barely had reasons. I have been thinking very hardly about them. Bella had been a very sensitive person. Not because she cried a lot, no, not at all, but she took things pretty seriously. No matter what it was, she never laughed at it, never shook her head at it. She just looked at you and either nodded, or didn't respond at all. What was remarkable, was her expression. Her furrowed eyebrows, her bitten together teeth, but in front of all, her fiercely sparkling eyes.
"What are you going to do now?"
or
"You should focus on a solution."
Common responses you would get from her when you told her what ever it may have been. So when I talked to her about my grades, about my mood, about my day, she wanted to find a way to make everything perfect every time. Perfection was something she truly craved. Yet, it was never a topic how she felt, or what she wanted. Good qualities for a loyal friend, right?
What I didn't realize when I was still alive, throughout my whole life, Bella was jealous. Jealous of what? Of me? No. There was nothing she would change about her looks, she was way too confident in herself. She wasn't jealous of me. She was jealous of my life. My sweet, sweet life, yeah. Who wouldn't have been? Don't be naive, huh? Our parents never preferred me. They wanted us to be treated the same always. So it couldn't have been that. Also, I was never better at school than her. She was. She was older, prettier, taller, skinnier, smarter. The jealousy she felt of my life doesn't seem to make sense. But the clue is, Bella was jealous just because of that. Because she tried everything to be the best, to be perfect. Meanwhile I just had to hang around lazily and get everything she never had. What didn't she have, you're wondering? The answer is simple. My sister didn't have friends, I mean good friends. Loyal friends. She never found a boy that was right for her, got fooled too many times. She was good in everything, but it was never enough. She never understood that it doesn't matter to people if you have money or if you look good and have a high intelligence. If they do, that doesn't mean they're you're friends. Rather the exact opposite. Having lots of true friends means being empathetic. You've got to be able to communicate well. Bella did not have all these characteristics. She was neither empathetic nor able to communicate. If I say I was secretive, then you have never met her. It's actually crazy to become clear about that you never even knew someone you assumed to know best.
How she came to kill me is obscure. I don't know it. I don't know her. All I do know is that she had that dark, dark side of her she never dared to show me off. I know that she used it against me when she decided to end the feeling of jealousy she carried along all these years. When she decided to end me.
And what does Chan have to do with all of this? Fine, I'll explain.
Chan and Bella used to be getting along pretty well, as far as I can remember. I never heard of a certain incident between them two. It was fine by me, I was happy I didn't. What's better than a boyfriend that can deal with your family members? Barely anything. Chan was perfect. Never blamed me, never let me down. Until that day. Not the day I died, but the day he made a pact with my sister.
When I started thinking about it, it didn't take that long to make me realize. Chan had a huge range. Not only when we were still in school, but also at work, in the city, and even different countries. He wasn't famous, yet so easy-going and kind. Everybody liked him. He knew how to be fair, how to cooperate, how to make compromises. He was the businessman. My sister knew that too. She needed him. And I know Chan, he could never say no. Bella asked him if he'd help her. With that? With getting her a life finally. He could've helped her. He knew all the people, the tricks how to cope with everyone. Of course she'd ask him. He helped her. I know that because I noticed it. They began spending more time together.
"Bella just texted me."
"I talked to Bella last week."
"Chan and I talked about that too."
"Is Chan okay with that?"
Now I know.
But Bella wasn't satisfied with the minimum. She asked for more. More tricks, more people, more knowledge. As far as I know my boyfriend, he was aware of her selfish intentions. And Chan doesn't like selfish people. He wouldn't have let her gained a prize for wanting all for herself only. He told her to get herself out there and try herself. Test herself. He told her she'd have to find her own ways to become who she dreamed to become. And Bella wasn't okay with that. She didn't accept it that he wanted to stop being a help for her. What happened? She got mad. She told him if he didn't continue the way he did before, he would regret it. But Chan didn't let empty threats like that bother him. That's unprofessional. Bella understood, and soon started to make him clearly worried. Creepy gestures, fierce glares, mean comments. And one day, she threatened him with my life. It was a time where I noticed that something was up with Chan. He called me several times a day, made sudden confessions, texted me nonstop and had a lot of plans with me. So what I thought was, what if she gave him a limit? What if he didn't even have another chance left? He had already refused to help her any further, what if he had already lost her little games? So the last day we spent together, was the day where the limit was reached. My last day was reached. And Chan couldn't anything against it.
Actually, I was asking myself why Chan decided to leave me even though he knew I would be killed. I never found the answer. Bella must've really intimidated him. Yet it wasn't significant what she told him or with what else she had threatened him, it leaded to my death, that is all that mattered to me. I now understand Bella's psychotic behavior when ripping out my heart.
"Your heart is mine, Sage."
She wanted my heart. All this time, what she wanted was my heart. I bet Chan taught her that. He taught her everything comes from the heart. You need a pure heart to make a lot of true friends. My sister's heart was so damaged that she thought she could own another. I had a heart. A heart that leaded me to the best friends in the world. And she wanted to steal that away from me. So she took it, but never reached her goal.
The devil never wins.
