Our little game

Just tired

A/N: Why do people have to cheat? Like is it so hard to keep it in your pants for at least a little while and go be honest with the person you're with? I'd rather someone tell me that their heart is in it with someone else than to find out months later that they've been messing around with another person behind my back and lying about it. It's just bullshit. Like how fucked do you have to be to even have to think twice about cheating? 

Dream's POV:

I woke up in my bed the next morning. It was empty now and the heat from the window hit my face. I must have slept through yesterday evening and all through the night. The air was cold, but hot at the same time, I couldn't explain it if I tried. As soon as I hauled myself out of bed a horrible wave of guilt slapped me in the face and I realized how fucked I am. You know how after you do sexual things you feel amazing, but then you wait it out a little and that feeling turns into this gross guilt that sits on your chest like a heavyweight you can't get rid of. That's how I was feeling right now. It's different when you know you really love the person, and you trust them, but when it's like how it just was with George, this nasty feeling is destined to hit at some point. 

Sometimes I wish I was in love with him. Maybe that means I am, what would I know anyway?

It's just so messy. I got caught in the lie and now that I really realized how much I long to be able to be real with George, my stomach is constantly turning and ticking like some unpredictable time bomb that could blow up any second. 

Do you want to know the worst part? E v e r y t h i n g is blue and green these days. I was on a drive and I saw someone with a pride flag up on their house, my immediate thought wasn't, "rad, gay pride!" It was. "Oh my god blue and green," it's like I'm going fucking insane. I'll never admit this to anyone but I practically live on DNF tik tok. I feel like my head is going to explode. Like I've been living this lie for so long that I've convinced myself to want it. I mean, I don't even really know what I'm feeling. I can't say for certain yet, and I hate that more than anything.

I sighed and walked out into the kitchen. Nick was on his phone, probably doing something stupid or texting people, and George was next to him watching a movie. He glanced up when I walked in, but immediately whipped his head back to the TV. "Good morning," Nick said and looked up from his phone. "Hey," I sat next to him on the couch and leaned my head against his shoulder. "Is it hot to anyone else?" I asked, "meh, it's kind of room temperature," Nick replied. I hummed in response and tried my hardest not to look at George. Which is impossible because we're constantly with each other. 

"Dude, what's up with you? Shit just got real awkward as soon as you walked in," Nick shifted his position slightly to look at me. "Nothing, you guys are the ones being weird," I told him defensively. "Nothing's weird. Nobody's acting weird. Everything's fine Cla-Dream. Now shut up I'm watching Harry Potter," My eyes went wide. He almost called me Clay. I was never sure why he called my Dream, especially now that we're actually seeing each other in person. But it was playful and made me feel special to him. George calling me Clay is just...ick, it isn't right. "Okay..." My voice trailed off and I tried to zone in on the movie but it was boring and I didn't know what was going on. 

"Do you guys want to go get donuts or something?" I asked after an irritating amount of silence. "I'm down, George?" He sighed then paused the movie. "Okay," I kept getting flashbacks of yesterday every single time he said anything, which made me horribly uncomfortable. I wish I could just slap myself and turn off my brain. But here we are. 

We all got ready, then Nick yelled at me to hurry up so I grabbed my shoes and hurried down the hall out to the car where Nick and George were. "Sorry," I muttered and sat down in the back seat. "It's fine. LET'S GO! DREAM, YOU'RE PAYING!" Nick yelled and looked back while leaving the driveway. I laughed softly and looked out the window. It was a regular day, there weren't many clouds in the sky beside a few small ones far out in the distance. Plus it was warm, but a slight breeze went by every now and then. It was a cloud-watching day for sure. My mind trailed off to an image of George and I laying in the grass watching the clouds pass by. Even though there weren't many out today, we'd still sit in that peaceful, breezy silence of the day and enjoy each other's presence. I realized I'd accidentally sighed heavily after realizing we'd never have that. "You okay man?" Nick asked from the front seat. "Oh, yeah sorry, just tired," 

"No way you're tired! You fell asleep at like 5 yesterday evening and didn't wake up till ten minutes ago," I shrugged and looked up at George. His forehead was pressed against the window. "George, you okay?" Nick asked. He zoned back into reality and looked over at him, "oh...yeah, sorry. I couldn't sleep much last night," I sighed, knowing I was probably the reason. 

"Right...have y'all ever thought of therapy?" I started laughing. "What?" George asked defensively. "Couples therapy...n-not that there's anything wrong with your relationship or anything you just seem to, I don't know...fight a lot?" I sighed. He's right. If you think about it, it makes sense why we seem to fight so much. I guess i'm just frustrated by everything going on between George and I, that I take it out on him for stupid things. "We don't need fucking therapy Nick." George shot back quickly in a harsh tone then focused back outside the window. I cringed. I hate it when Nick and George fight, because then I have to step in and make sure they don't murder each other, but now that George and I aren't exactly on the best terms, it's just one big awkward mess. 

"Can you guys not?" I asked. "Not what??" Nick looked back at me through the mirror. "Fight, I can't deal with it today," Nick rolled his eyes. "No ones asked you to deal with anything," he told me. "Yeah, why do you always just fucking assume that anyone here needs you? I get you're a leo and everyone's always preaching, 'oh, Dream's a god, Dream's this, Dream's that' but i'm fucking sick of it! Just back the fuck off and deal with your own fucked up shit before sticking your head up anyone else's ass!" George finally lost it. The entire car went silent, myself included. He left me completely speechless with that one. 

"For once I agree with George." Nick told me in a quiet voice. It broke the silence, but only started a more aggressive quiet than before. I wasn't even going to lie, what George said didn't feel good. And Nick agreeing was like the cherry on top.

A/N: I finally got inspiration to upload again so that's wonderful:)