Love So Far

Inheritance and Values

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Sadia

I went to my parents' house with Ibrahim, leaving Ismael behind at my in-laws. 

Ismael reminded me too much of his father. Each time I looked at him, I remembered Arhaan and the damage that I had caused to my own life. This is an incredibly awful thing for a woman to say about her own child, but every time I looked at Ismael, I felt irritated, and I had started to take out my anger on my poor, innocent son. I decided to keep him at a distance for a while, otherwise my lashing out would make him fear me one day.

I rang the bell at my parents' house, holding Ibrahim in one arm. He was asleep, blissfully unaware of everything around him. 

The door opened and Ammi stood there. Her eyes widened, almost horrified, when she saw me. "What are you doing here, Sadia?" 

 "I came to visit you, Ammi." I was confused.

She stepped out of the house, closing the door behind her. "Sadia, beta, your Bhabis are not in a good mood today. Maybe you should come back some other time."

I blinked at her, unable to believe what she was saying. "A-Ammi..."

"Maybe you shouldn't come here without Arhaan." She suggested. "If he still wants to come with you."

My parents were disappointed at the fact that I had basically thrown away my life into a rubbish bin, by allowing Arhaan to remarry. I'd tried to convince them that at least I wasn't divorced, but the argument was pointless.

"You're asking me not to come to my own parents' house alone?" I repeated. 

She sighed. "Now that you have let Arhaan remarry, they think that you're going to end up coming back here to live with us, and they are not very happy with that idea."

"But I won't! I'm not divorced!" 

"Tumhari harkaton ki wajah se humain us baat pe yakeen hi nahin raha." She frowned in disapproval. "Ismael ko kahan chodh kar aayi ho?"

*"We don't trust you because of your acts."
"Where have you left Ismael?"

"He's at home with Ammi and Ahad and Zoya." I replied. "Ammi, please trust me, I..."

The door open and Huzaifa Bhabi stepped out, looking furious. "Oh, did Arhaan Bhai finally kick you out?" 

I shook my head. "Bhabi, I..." The sudden yelling had woken Ibrahim up and he started crying. I began to rock him in my arms. 

Bhabi made a disgusted face. "Ugh, get him away from here. He's going to wake our children!" 

An image of Hania staring up wide-eyed at me popped up in my head. Seven-months-old Hania had grabbed my dupatta with her mehendi covered hand during Ahad and Zoya's mehendi ritual. "Hania! What have you done?!" I'd yelled at her, before glaring at Jasmina. "Can't you control your daughter?!", and then I'd added, "Stupid child.".

This reminded me of another behaviour of mine towards my Nand's daughter. 

"Please take Hania out of there." I had told Fariha, as we were cleaning up after one of Ahad's wedding functions. "She has a tendency to pinch my son."

Arhaan had overheard that as he was also helping clear up things. "Sadia, come on. She's a baby."

"Well, Ismael's my baby." I had frowned. "And I can't see him in pain."