Forget Me Nots

Chapter 5- Truths Unsaid

"Falling can be be beautiful when you give it all you've got."
-Alicia Green

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Chapter 5- Truths Unsaid

I awoke that morning, hoping that what I had endured the day prior was all just a bad miserable dream. That today would be my first day at school and all would be well. But sadly this isn't a fairy tale. My neck still felt bare, maybe I'd get a replacement soon enough.

It was early. Too early, my alarm hadn't rang and the sun hadn't rose. I rolled over. I was tired but somehow more awake and alert than I think I have ever been.

I felt still stuck in Tucker's grasp. I was tired. I was hurting. I did what any sensible grieving person would do. I turned on my phone and opened the notes app.

It's funny the amount of stuff that comes from this one app. The software developers probably intended it for grocery lists or calendars. Instead most people like me practically have their life story written down in it.

Time to add another chapter to the compiling of my life.

16/09/20 4:36am
To the boy I once loved,
It feels almost as if you have died. For so long I had hoped to hold you again, smile with you again. You had me promise to you I'd never forget you. I never did. I never imagined I'd see you again. Many nights had I assumed you were gone, however none of those nights feel like this one. I believe you had good intentions. I believe you know what's best for you. I just wish in the process you could just shatter yourself and not have to tear me down with you. Like a sinking ship. My head is underwater. There is no air left in my lungs. It's the same as feeling like there's no love left in this life. So instead of letting you drag me down, I will pull myself back up to a lifeboat and float away. Tattered and torn may the pieces of my heart be, I will throw all the memories to wash away with the quaking sea, but. There is one moment I shall keep with me, like an old painted photograph. The look on your face that summer day you told me you loved me. The air was sweet, the wind calm. I had loved you too. However now I see. Like a cloaked thief you took a part of me. Like the timeless tale of the Beast and the Beauty, the final petal has fallen and turned to ash. Forever you must live a curse. I must now forget. -Noah

I sat, starting at the screen in front of me. The sun was now peaking through the window illuminating my tear stained cheeks. I turned over holding my pillow as if it were him. Crying like I would've if he actually died. Somehow this felt worse than death.

I had eventually worn myself down and fallen back asleep. My head was still empty and my eyes were sore. My clock went off. Some how I felt good.

I turned my alarm off.

7:15. I had more time than yesterday to get ready, I made sure of that as I didn't feel like rushing again, I moved just before my body urged to stretch. Mittens basically copied my movements as she swiftly leaped off the bed. She walked over to the door and began meowing. "Breakfast it is, your highness." I jokingly bowed to her as I opened my door and followed her to the kitchen.

I made her food then questioned why I was even worried about her running away the first day. Mittens is an indoor cat. By all means. She had one of those cat water fountains that moved the water to keep them interested? I'm not too sure what it did but the bowl had a motor and a filter. Which seems a little overkill. I laughed at her as she pawed my leg reminding me that she was starving.