What Souls are Made Of

Chapter 8

"So, can I ask a question?" Millie asked through the darkness from her bed.

"You just did." 

Millie had been peppering me with questions all night. I was beginning to lose patience with the hope she would fall asleep. We had made it to Ojai quickly and found a room with two queen beds at a place called the Blue Iguana. Millie insisted we stay here as iguanas were distant relatives of Finn, and I was honestly too tired to argue.

"Where is Sarah?"

"She's here," I was convincing myself just as much as Millie. Ever since we had arrived, a feeling of dread had started to fill me.

"But, where? How do you know she is here?"

"Because I stopped to touch the flower petal," I knew it wouldn't answer her question, and I knew she wouldn't leave it alone.

"What?"

"Millie, it's late, and I've had a pretty shitty day. Can we just get some sleep?"

"Oh, why was your day shitty?"

I sighed, resigning myself to staying up all night answering her endless questions. "My best friend was killed."

"What?" She shot up in her bed.

"Zombie versus a human with a gun; guess who won..."

"Seth, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You mean in the last 4-hours of your incessant inquiries, why didn't I offer additional information for you to quiz me on?"

"Sorry," slipped from her lips as she slumped back to her bed. This was not the typically distracted apology I received as her mind whirled to the next topic; this apology was sincere and mournful.

"What's your story, Millie? Why were you alone running from a mob of zombies in the middle of LA?"

"It's late, Seth," she murmured. It would have been funny if her tone hadn't still been clouded with whatever memories were haunting her.

"Night, Millie."

"Night, Seth."

In the silence, I let my mind linger on Avi. He would never have been at the pet store if I hadn't been so fixated on leaving. He didn't need fish food; he had four jars. It was just one last good-bye adventure. Did he know it would be his last? Did he know there was the lingering threat that I would stay if he didn't come with me and this was his way out?

The doubts of my plans began to scream in my brain. I had been so confident that Sarah would be here, but now there was an unsettling feeling that filled me as soon as we enter the city. There was something off about this place. The uncomfortable thoughts made me shift, but quickly I realized I was moving around something. Millie was sliding in next to me.

"Millie," I murmured as she tucked her head to my chest. I wanted to remind her that I was a brain-eating zombie, but before I could, she cut me off. 

"I've lost everyone too," she whispered.

"I'm sorry." Instinctively my hand lifted to her head and smoothed her hair. It was a few seconds before I realized again that she should be pulling away from me, from my touch of her head. I was a zombie. The thought made my hand stutter in its stroke.

As though she could hear my thoughts, she added, "I trust you." And to reaffirm the statement, she nestled deeper into my side. "I want to help you get your happy ending and not one that ends in death."

"Millie, I'm already..."

"Don't Seth; you're not dead. You're here with your arms around me, making me feel safe. You think and feel and care. You are alive as much as I am. There is too much death to add yourself to the pile."

"What happened to your people?"

"They haven't been seasoned like you. I had hoped that my cousin was still," she paused on her word choice before settling on "lucid. But her place was surrounded by that mob."

I let my lips drop to the crown of her head as she spoke.

"I know what it is like to give up, Seth. I was about to give in to that mob. I didn't have anyone. What's the point if you don't have anyone?"

"What changed your mind?"

I felt the laugh roll through her but didn't hear it. "You did, silly. You saved me. You wanted to help. It was the most human moment I've had in months."

"And it came from a zombie," I shook my head at the irony.

"I'm scared," Millie's voice cracked as she spoke.

I stiffened at her admission. "Of me?" It made sense; she should be scared of me. I was a monster.

"No, not of you." Her arms constricted around me more as if to prove that I was not the root of her fear. "I'm just afraid all the time now."

"This isn't a world any of us wanted." It was then that I felt it, the flutter of her heart. A heartbeat was a funny thing. I didn't realize I missed feeling it until I suddenly could feel Millie's. As she laid on my chest, I could feel her heart beating and the pumping of blood flowing through her veins. I let a hand glide down her arm and pause at her wrist, clutching it in my hand and feeling the pulse.

"What?"

"It's been a while since I've felt a heartbeat. It's..." I search for the right word, "soothing." My words hung between us. "I'm sorry, that's probably pretty creepy."

Millie let out a heavy sigh, "no, it's just sad. You have a lot of heart; yours should be beating."

"Go to sleep, Millie. I'll keep a watch over you. You don't need to be scared tonight." I let my lips dip to the crown of her head again.

"I know. I stopped being scared when I got into your car. You sleep too. You protect me from zombies, and I'll protect you from humans. We're unstoppable."

"I'm glad you're here," I admitted.

"I know," I could feel the bunch of her cheeks from her smile on my chest as I drifted off to sleep.