The Hidden Luna

Chapter Twenty-Six

"You need to focus on one thing," Lilith began in soothing tones. "A memory, a moment, anything that brings you comfort. Take whatever it is and hold onto it."

Scarlett sat on the forest floor, the grass tickling her bare toes as she closed her eyes, trying desperately to find something to hold on to while she attempted to shift without the force of the moon. She tried to think of her happiest memory, but every memory that surfaced felt tainted. Every single one of her happiest memories was with her mother and every single time she thought of her, Scarlett felt a rush of anger and frustration at all the secrets her mother had kept, secrets that could have prevented what was happening now.

After a moment, Scarlett's eyes snapped open and landed on Lilith, who was standing some distance away, watching her. "I can't find anything that will distract me in a good way."

Lilith rolled her head in a circle and let out a sigh. "If you can't find something that distracts you positively, try something that distracts you negatively. A distraction is a distraction, it doesn't matter the origin. Most people just prefer the happier choice."

Lilith made a gesture to start again and Scarlett closed her eyes obediently. They had been at it for about an hour since the sun had set and nothing remotely werewolf-like had happened.

Scarlett took a deep breath in. She could do this. She could think of something negative. She almost wanted to laugh, hardly anything that has happened to her had been positive within the last two months.

Zoey had been murdered. Disfigured was more like it. Despite it happening at the beginning of summer, Scarlett could still smell the iron in her friend's blood, flooding her nostrils when she had tripped and landed in the pool of it. The stickiness of it coating her hands, it still warm, still fresh. Everything about it, like it was yesterday.

Soon, Scarlett felt her breathing go uneven, her skin feeling hot and feverish. Anger coursed through her veins, consumed her as she heard Lilith encouraging her to keep going. It wasn't until the first snap and crunch of her bones shifting she had realized she was doing it, that she was shifting without the moon forcing it. The pain was still horrible, unnatural, but Scarlett was so angry that it didn't seem to be as unbearable as the last time.

She let out a scream, yet it felt like it didn't quite come from her as it soon drowned out into a howl.

When Scarlett opened her eyes, she was a wolf.

###

The shift didn't last long. Once Scarlett realized she had shifted, her concentration on her anger was replaced by shock and maintaining her wolf form became difficult.

Lilith handed her a basic sundress. "I didn't know what you'd want to change into."

Scarlett felt so nauseous and sore, she could have gone naked to the pack house and wouldn't care. With shaking hands, she put the dress on. "Thank you."

Lilith nodded her head curtly. "That was impressive. Most don't maintain a shift as long as you did. You held your form for at least a half hour."

"It felt like five minutes," she replied lamely. She knew shifting would be difficult, but she hadn’t anticipated that the process of shifting was the easy part. Maintaining the shift, however, was the hardest.

Lilith took Scarlett by her elbow and helped her up, quickly letting go once Scarlett was on her feet. "What did you focus on?"

"Finding my best friend without her heart," Scarlett said bluntly. She didn't need to look at Lilith's face to know she was staring at her with a look of horror and pity. Scarlett didn't want to hear a half-hearted apology or whatever Lilith may say. "What do you think of?"

Lilith was quiet for a moment, so quiet, Scarlett looked up. Her cheeks were tinted pink and Scarlett could hear the pounding of her heart, it was fast, faster than normal. Lilith quickly shifted her gaze and finally said, "A friend."

Scarlett didn't push, mostly because she knew Lilith would likely bite her head off for asking, and partly because she felt like she was going to puke. Ultimately, the latter won as Scarlett stopped walking toward the pack house and hurled in a bush.

Lilith let out a sound of annoyance before she pulled Scarlett's hair out of her face.

Scarlett felt the contents of her dinner and everything she drank or ate during the day leave her. She hated the violent lurch in her stomach as she heaved one last time, her throat burning. When she was done, she refused to meet Lilith's gaze, just as Lilith did earlier, although, Scarlett definitely had more of a reason to be embarrassed after puking her guts up in front of someone who doesn't particularly like her.

After a few deep breaths, Scarlett and Lilith continued on their way to the house. Once they reached the edge of the forest, Lilith casted her a brief glance. "Ginger. Eat some chews or drink some tea before you shift, it'll make the post-shifting sickness less intense."

Before Scarlett could utter a thank you for the advice, Lilith was already gone, making her way through the backyard, dodging those who remained outside training or simply talking.

Suddenly, Asher was in front of her. He took her arm, wrapping it around his as he steadied her. "I was just coming to find you. How did it go?"

Scarlett leaned into him as they walked. "Well, I'm able to walk after shifting, so better than last time. But Lilith saw me vomit my guys up afterward."

"Hey, at least you shifted," Ash comforted her.

They weaved their way through the house and to their room, where Scarlett rushed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and shower.

When she was done, Asher was already in bed, donning his usual sleeping attire -- boxers and nothing else. She pulled back the sheets and crawled in beside him. He tilted his head to the right. "So which technique did you go for? Breathing or dissassociation?"

"Dissassociation," Scarlett answered through a yawn, resting her head on his shoulder. "What do you do?"

"Now, it isn't that painful to shift so I don't really need to do either," he began, trailing his fingers lightly across her arm, sending trickles of electricity throughout her body. "But when I first started to shift I focused on you. Specifically, when I proposed to you with that ring pop. I couldn't tell if you were more happy with the proposal or the candy. The smile on your face, the laugh you made when I slid it on your finger, everything about that memory took all the pain away."

Scarlett laughed at the memory, also recalling when it had happened, and how horrified Asher looked when she ate the ring in less than five minutes after receiving it. She shook her head in disbelief. "That was almost nine years ago."

Asher wrapped his arms around her and nestled his chin in the crevice of her neck and shoulder. "I can't wait for more to come."

Scarlett tried to keep her worry at bay, knowing if she felt it too intensely, Asher would feel it too. She could feel his excited thrumming through him, and thus, through her, but she couldn't feel the same knowing her father was after her. He had killed three people she loved, one of which was more than capable of fighting back. She knew the likelihood of surviving her father was slim. It was only a matter of time before he'd get her and capture or kill her, eliminating any possibility of a future with Asher, a future with her mate.